78
A Guido is an Italian American male who is a complete moron. The Guidos like to screw up the New Jersey shore and disgrace the entier state. They absolutely hate People that are English,Irish,German,Skandanavian, or Slavic.

(which i am English,Irish,German:the Anglosaxon parts of me: and i may be part Skando.)

Guidos often beat up innocent little boys(actual white boys)
Theese Itallians pretend to be white but they are not they are not truly white like me and my friends

Guidos act like black people by listening to rap and burning flags of Anglo-European contries.

unfortuneatly most people like guidos and follow them to death.

The guido virus is high in this world especially because most females of the WHOLE COUNTRY are attracted to them and only them

If you know a paulie or a bernie most likely they spray cologne all over their body and spike their hair and scream the words *muff cabage* out in the air while watching Teresa and Karen and Dainelle fight on the Bravo Channel

The only way to fight the Itallian virus is to burn an Itallian flag raise an Anglosaxon or Skandanavion one and play loud Medolic Death Metal or Heavy Metal
Most of the Jersey Shore population

Someone who hates good music and says *muff cabage*
Someone who is burning the flag of Ireland or Germany

is a Guido
by Deathmetalfan666 November 18, 2010
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first off while most guidos are italian they are not always. any mediteranean can be a guido persian, greek armenian, the guys who work at habibi hooka bar in westwood etc.
a guido typically slicks back his hair, drives a tight car, is considered a sleazy scumbag, has no emotional attachment to woman (is only looking to bone them), and doesnt let people mess with him, and engages in illegal shady activities
guidos are straight up tight, they r usually stupid in everyday life but some can be smart
most guidos live in NY or Jersey, but can also be found in LA miami vegas etc.
a guido in LA for example is a guy named matt, laughs like a boisterous loud ass mofo and doesnt know how to spell science
he hangs out in brentwood bumping a volvo with computer sub woofers and smokes a cohiba while driving to school usually friends with persian jewish kids who wear gucci glasses however guidos r fun to be around are funny people and good friends so dont hate on the guid
by Blake King size B September 06, 2006
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80
Original Version- A white, obnoxious, male, that listens to disco music. This term was often used in the 70's by people who listened to rock music and thought disco was bad.
Guidos usally hung out with the "girl guidos" which were labbled "Stellas".

The Guidos and Stellas would mostly listen to music that was easy to "hustle" to, such as The Village People or Earth, Wind, Fire.
These Guidos usally wore bright bell bottum pants with bright botton up shirts and platform shoes, with greasy hair.
These guidos died with disco.

Jersey Shore Verison- An Itilan American male, that lives in the New York/New Jersey tri-state area.
This guido spends his days working out at the gym and going spray or bed tanning.
His nights usally consume of wearing tight clothes, greasing his hair up and going clubbing to score chicks, and for some reason thinks he's going to get one.
The guido does these types of activities way up into his late 30's.
This guido usally hangs out with the "girl guido" The Guidette. Who is usally an over tanned, dramtic, slut.
This trend was made famous by the tv show Jersey Shore, which is about 8 guidos and guidettes getting drunk and getting laid.

Hopfully these guidos die with the show.
Exmaple 1: "Someone needs to tell these guidos that disco is dead"

Exmaple 2: "That guy is so greasy, he could be one Jersey Shore with the other guidos"
by Booboobro April 11, 2011
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Clothing- A|X tee shirts, diesel shirts, wife beaters, sweat jackets usually by puma or adidas part of a matching set with pants, A|X jeans, ben sherman jeans , sweat pants, And capris. anything tight that shows off muscle definition.diesel shoes, nike cortezs, pumas. and let us not forget the classic A|X belt equipped with the nextel. lots of gold or silver chains some with italian horns. and kangol hats and sunglasses worn all day and all night.

Whips- BMW'S usally convertable, Cadillac's, or anything expensive that will make someone say damn! and has a banging system and an italian flag in one or more places..

place of birth- could be anywhere but most guidos reside in northern and southern jerzee and parts of new york predominately brooklyn bensonhurst section.

hang outs- joey's in clifton (if youre from jerzee you know the place), spirit, exit, abyss, temptations, djais, bamboo, any club in the area or the gym mostly gold's gym where you can purchase steroids (not all guidos do steroids though).

music- techno, house, dance, very little rap if any at all. music that u can all form a circle around eachother and dance using the guido fist pump to songs like "pump it up"-danzel, " dancin, i got the pills"-oscar g

phones- usally nextel with a cover and loud ringers and constantly showing no matter what they are wearing.Usually always talking on it.

hair-takes longer to do then all your sisters combined, if you have no sisters then to put it blunt a long fucking time. cut into something called a brook, or brooklyn which consists of long spikes on top and sides but sideburns shaved to points and the back is squared off.

Other Guido Characteristics- tans all week, lifts weights and gets hair cut every week and eyebrows waxxed every week.

Guidos are commonly mistaken as stuck up pretty boys who use way to much gel. They're actually hot! Some are jackasses because they ALL know they look good, but some are chill.

Italian females with the same characteristics are known as Guidettes, like me.
Go to Staten Island and you'll see all the Guidos you need. Guido Central is a great place to meet some Guidos too.

Look at that Guido. I love his tan!
My brother uses way more hair gel than me! What a Guido!
Leave the Cheap Stallion and jump on a Guido Italian!
by Italian Guidette October 28, 2006
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82
Recently made popular by the MTV show "Jersey Shore"

A man usually from a family with a strong Italian Descent.

They tend to express their Heritage through clothing, cars, and other decor.

Common Characteristics of a Guido are:

-Fake Tan
-Dark Brown/Black Gelled exotic hairstyles
-Multiple Tattoos
-Medallions & Other Gold

-Wears Lip Gloss
-Ripped Body (Juiced)
-Short
-Piercings
-Parties often
-New York/Jersey Accent
-Players
-Hang out at Jersey Shore
-Drive Tricked out whips
by PSpmaster January 04, 2010
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83
1. Originating from Italian culture. Guidos are those tools you see on Jersey Shore. Not all Italians are Guidos. and in fact there is a difference between the two. And thanks to Jersey Shore there are alot of wannabe Guidos all over the United States. All guidos are total fags and lazy pieces of shit.

2. Proof that whitetrash now comes in orange.
Fucken hell!!!! eveyone in my school is tryin to be a guido wannabe now, thanks to Jersey Shore!!!!!
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GUIDOS and GOOMBAS are both synonymous terms used to describe a certain, very ethnic Italian-American, which usually resides in small New Jersey and New York neighborhoods known as Little Italies. When you take all of the children and grandchildren of Italian immigrants from all the different regions of the boot and throw them together, you have your Little Italy neighborhoods in America, and the GUIDO/GOOMBA subculture emerges. Things get translated and changed and carry on onto the next generation, but the Italian root is still there. The residen ts are special types of Italian-Americans who usually fit a lot of the Hollywood stereotypes, because they are pretty entertaining characters. And this is an east coast subculture that existed long before the movies or TV decided to portray it. It's a special distinction made to certain guys who like Italian things over “meddigan” (white bread waspy) things.

I am proud to say I am one of these characters. We do things to the extreme when it comes to showing off pride for this particular east coast subculture! There’s a special look that separates the GUIDO from a regular American of Italian descent, and from some fool who doesn't have a clue about his heritage. We have certain speech patterns, ways of dress, attitudes and ideas, but we all truly love family, friends, and things that derive from Italy. See, we love to play up all the stereotypes (because most are true). And that love revolves around incorporating something Italian into each day. Whether it's clothes, food, or cars—if it has roots from the boot, it's always better. As long as you have an Italian name and several nicknames, use hand gestures, speak with the GOOMBA slang dialect in that Jersey or Brooklyn accent, and have that unmistakable strut when you walk, you got it a ll as far as I’m concerned.

Look, we don't wanna walk on the moon, we wanna walk to the corner pizza parlor. We don't try to discover a cure for Cancer, we’d rather go down to St. Francis Church and pray for it. We like drinking and just hanging out. The little things in life. I’m a simple guy, and I’ll walk you through my daily routines…

First, I wake up and get ready using my GUIDO hair care and hygiene products (spiking glue, Aqua Net hairspray, Axe body spray). On work days, the outfit is black pants with a big-buckled belt and usually a black shirt, shiny shoes and leather jacket. For breakfast, I usually eat some peppers and eggs and then I stop at the bakery for some espresso. In my sweet Caddie, I pump up my KTU, or pop in a CD of Angelo Venuto, or some freestyle beats.

Once I’m at work, I check the internet news for what's happening on the other side (Italy). When having any conversation with my co-workers, we chat about sports, music, movies or whatever else but we always focus on the Italian-American athletes or singers or actors. Of course, only my fellow paesan co-workers have an equal amount of interest in such things. At lunch time, I go to the Italian deli and pick up a gabagol and mozzarell' sengwich with a cold Manhattan Special. Mmm!

Now getting back to my GUIDO lair is the best part of the day. The first thing I do is to grab an ice cold Peroni out of the fridge and light up a DiNobili cigar. At dinner time, it's homemade macaroni with meatballs and a nice glass of vino. Then I hit the hay with my gal and fall off to sleep until the next day…

When the weekend rolls around, it's out to Club Rise in Lodi to dance and kick back a dozen, and in the summer, it’s always trips down the Jersey shore or to an Italian feast. The Friday and Saturday night attire is usually a designer t-shirt (Armani Exchange, Diesel, Ed Hardy) with jeans, and always my bling (bracelet, nice wristwatch, two pinkie rings, and of course, two necklaces). The Italian horn and religious emblems (Christ on the cross, Holy Mary) are worn on these chains to show off my family heritage and religion. Plus they look cool.

On Sunday afternoons, I get up and throw on a dark colored jogging suit, the prototypical casual outfit. For those that may not be familiar, this attire starts out with a white or black guinea tee and boxer shorts and then the matching jogging suit goes on. They come in cotton or velvet, and all sport the insignia of the company that makes them—Fila is best, obviously, because it is an Italian brand. Puma, Adidas, Nike and Reebok are a few other good ones.

The bottom line is you will know a GUIDO when you see one, at work or at play. We love to party and enjoy life. Even if we aren’t rockstars, we think we are!
by Johnny DeCarlo February 21, 2009
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