oversized, sloppy, and disclored vagina lips in conjunction with excessive, un-tamed, and un-manicured pubic hair and any caliber of offensive smell directly related to the vagina orifice and its activities. (i.e.-pee trapped in hair, vaginosis, and or general body odor.) symptoms are usually discovered upon removal of the panties, foreplay, entry from the doggystyle position, or via your buddy that was a first-hand victim. All in all grumpy lettuce is when the vagina resembles 2 pieces of rotten lettuce that had been sitting in the fridge a little too long. It's so bad it actually makes the vagina look unhappy.