(FINANCE) largest private equity fund manager in the world, by assets under management ($90.5 billion-2010). The Carlyle Group is actually a group of 67 funds which are, in turn, managed by a wholly private (i.e., non-listed, non-traded) limited liability company (LLC). In order to be a partner in the Carlyle Group, one needs to (a) have an enormous amount of money to invest for a very long time, and (b) have some peculiar connection of value to the existing partners.

About 69% of fund commitments by TC Group, LLC, are for buyouts; the profits--which are immense--come when it resells its portfolio. For example, it bought and restructured United Defense Industries in 1997, cashed out by '04, and made profits of about a billion on that particular deal. It has bought many defense firms and restructured them, while using its special connections to open doors for new categories of defense contracts.

One major investor is Prince Al-Walid bin Talal, who is also the owner of the largest block of shares in News Corp outside of the Murdoch family.

To be pwned by upper management at your place of employment.

noun - 1. Engaging in any activity for the sake of making one feel better about themselves, their organization, or their company without actually accomplishing anything. 2. Holding meetings to provide recommendations only to have management do what they wanted in the first place. 3. Holding special work group meetings to make the 'little people' feel ownership, when the decision has already been made by higher levels of management.

an office game for yuppies and geeks

1. go to an office meeting

2. write down every newspeak term or off-the-cuff phrase

3. when you have five new ones, or five old ones from the official list ( you should have a keeper of the list), mumble "bingo" just loud enough for the people next to you to hear

noun. An individual, group or corporation lacking basic common sense or "smarts". At least 2 sandwiches and a pickle short of a picnic.

(U.S. GOVERNMENT) Employee Retirement Income Security Act (1974); federal law that sets minimum standards for most voluntarily established pension and health plans in private industry to provide protection for individuals in these plans.

Very important law was supposed to ensure that employer pension plans were (a) managed by qualified, ethical people, and (b) those people did not take excessive risks with the funds paid into the pensions.

ERISA was subsequently weakened by a Department of Labor ruling in 1978 that allowed pension fund managers to invest in riskier types of portfolios. At the same time this occurred, financial managers were stuck with negative real interest rates, and high inflation. So there was an urgent need for financial vehicles with high yield.

As a result, pension fund money flowed into the new hedge funds and junk bonds.

Another major change to ERISA was the Consolidated Omnibus Budget Reconciliation Act (COBRA-1986) allows workers recently unemployed from a job to keep their group health insurance coverage for a limited period of time.

ERISA regulations for vesting pension benefits were watered down during the '90's, resulting ...

The cut and shut of two uber-management speak terms, used in completely the wrong context, to confuse a colleague or subordinate member of staff. Ultimate aim is to deflect the ability to actually answer the question correctly or to attempt to embarrass somebody else.