Slang for a person who’s only contributions to discussions are vague, positive statements. Nobody disagrees with them because there’s nothing of substance in what they say. They prevent issues from being discussed because the only response to their feel-good cliche is a quiet head nod or other innocuous affirmation. The conversation typically fizzles out because it’s easy to look like a jackass by detracting from the positive end note in a group setting.

Someone is a genuine Greeting Card when they truly believe their vague positivity accomplished something.

Someone can cynically act like a Greeting Card when they intentionally want to close a hard conversation where they may have to deal with uncomfortable topics or discussions. Watch politicians and corporate executives do it all the time.
"I think what we can all agree on is that the children’s safety is very important to all of us." – Jim, in a meeting

"Jim always kisses ass and only says obvious shit that means nothing. We never talk about how to actually fix things. Jim is such a freaking Greeting Card!" – Jane, to a friend after the meeting
by plaything_of_the_gods October 1, 2020
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n. To leave one's flatus in an elevator prior to departing an elevator so that the new arrivals receive the essence of the Queen city. Greeting cards delivered anonymously are silent.
Dude, as I got off the elevator in the lobby this morning the CEO was getting on with like a dozen others. I left an anonymous Cincinnati greeting card for him to enjoy on his ride to the 12th floor.
by zehnmonkey September 15, 2011
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When you meet someone in a Hallmark store who looks like a real life version of a Precious Moments doll and then immediately know that you have to get married to them.
Jake met her at the greeting card store and they totally locked eyes and then boom, got a greeting card marriage.
by Bexolater3000 August 14, 2018
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while you are looking for greeting cards & you have the urge to fart, shart, or poop your pants.
Allison's greeting card flatulence caused her to ditch Papyrus for the can because she sharted herself.
by enuss April 12, 2008
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