An moderately challenging "game" that only dillusional, out of shape enthusiasts refer to as a "sport", in order to fool themselves into believing that their participation somehow makes them "athletes", even though the pertruding beer gut and lack of any strenuous physical activity imply otherwise.
Golfers generally claim that because this "game" requires hand eye coordination and proper form to excel, that justifies "golf" being a sport (note: nothing really about athletic prowess and physical fitness and conditioning). Given that criteria, we should expect to see our first terminally ill, overweight, 90 year-old, carton-a-day smoking, television addicted grand sports champion on the cover of "Sports Illustrated" in the near future.
"You're an Olympic Triathlete in top physical condition with ten gold medals? Well, I'm a golfer. We should hang out and trade stories since we have so much in common. Let me drink the rest of my Budweiser and finish my potato chips and fried chicken first, though. Oh, you're going to the gym? What's a "gym"?"