J@F:Hey honey, wanna have sex?
Girl:No.
J@F:I'm real good at it.
Girl:Whod you practice on, your mother?
J@F: Hey, she's a woman. Not a girl..

Me: I'm going to get a loan from Churchill.

Girl: Wasn't he the president of London when Jesus was around? I thought he was dead!

Other Girl: No, Churchill is that mountain in France! The really really high one. Mountains can't give loans!

Me: Stupid-ass girls.