Noun. A person who is incapable of figuring out how to get from point A to B without instructions like "turn at the pretty blue house". A person who does not know which direction is North. A person who points in the wrong direction when they are talking about a place. Combination of "geography" and "retard". A person, who when you tell them something is on the "Southeast corner", they respond with "english please". A person who thinks you are a genius because you know highway directions because of their number.
David is such a geotard, he lives in Florida, but refers to everything in the rest of the US as "down there".
If I have to tell her how to get there one more time, I'm going to kick her in her geotard ass!