|36.||Straight Best Friend|
When a lesbian has a male best friend who is straight. The polar opposite of Gay Best Friend. They can partake in activities such as talking about video games, joking, or cuddling. (The cuddling doesn't actually count because they play for the same team, but it's still nice.)
Lesbian: Omg I love Jesse! He's like my straight best friend.
Every lesbian should have a straight best friend.
The step below a friends with benefits relationship. Perks include cuddling, massages, deep conversations, dinner dates and casual lounging about. Can be seen as a losing situation to those who forget to be friends with their benefits partner (which then becomes a fuck buddy). Can also be used as a precursor to a fwb relationship to test the waters.
Katie and Jim and are totally in the platonic intimacy stage. They don't have sex, but they could get there.
Katie and Bob are platonically intimate. If Bob wasn't gay he might be pissed he got friend zoned.
One who's fart smells of dick
Diarrhea with cum in it
Often said in a Gay Bar "who ripped a zlotty?"
Gary (after sex) "ohh Allen your ass was so firm tonight, have you been working out?"
Allen "Oh my Gary, no time for cuddling, i've got to go take a zlotty"
Rules of the Classroom:more...
1) Never date single mothers. Dating equals porking.
-Too much of a risk. She already made one mistake and some guy is paying out his asshole for the next 18 years of his life. Probably paying vaginamony, also known as alimony and/or child support. Also the kid will always remain #1 in the relationship. You will always take the backseat. Although single mothers may seem to be "easy," you don't want to deal with this baggage if all you want to do is bang. There are plenty of chicks out there without children... including in Seattle believe it or not.
2) Never spend more than $40 on a date. If possible, let her pay for everything.
-There is no reason you should feel obligated to pay for anything. However, there is nothing wrong with splitting things 50/50. If you can get away without paying a dime...great. More tail for less money bottom line.
3) If she doesn't bang you by the third date, Dump That Bitch (DTB)
-Chances are she has no intention of EVER screwing you. Why should you invest your time when all she just wants to do is string you along. You would be wasting time and money so move on. If she really wants to bang you, she will come to you after the third date ends.
4) No spooning, cuddling, hugging, or staying over.
-Get in and get out. (No pun intended). If all you wanna do is bang, this can send them the wrong message that you want more.
5) Never get involved with a co-worker unless you dont mind losing your ...
An act made up by those with foot fetish's.
He demanded pictures of her feet citing he needed more puzzle foot action.
Derived from the character on Will Smith's tv series "Fresh Prince of Bellaire," Carlton Banks is a term used to describe guys with various feminine tendencies or romantic shortcomings. Can be shortened to a "Carlton"
Carlton Banks can be a guy who is completely oblivious to all signals, innuendos, and other hints from girls. Like if his girlfriend called him at 2 am to come over for a "cup of coffee" he'd be like, "Sorry, I don't drink coffee this early, but I could come over around nine and play Scrabble with you if you want, and then maybe we could cuddle."
A Carlton Banks can also be a guy who seems to make up a bunch of stupid excuses to not have sex with his girlfriend. Like, "I feel like it will mess things up," or, "I'd rather just cuddle." While cuddling is nice, SO IS SEX!
Basically a Carlton Banks is that "sweet but stupid" boyfriend who you often suspect might be very very gay.
Girlfriend: "No one's home, so do you wanna come inside, or are you too tired?"
Carlton Banks: "Yeah I am pretty tired. I think I'm gunna go home."
Girlfriend: "No one is gunna be home until way later tomorrow, do you wanna just crash here?"
Carlton Banks: "No thanks. I like waking up alone in my own bed."
Girlfriend: "Oh ok... wait what?"
When a person leaves their computer logged onto Facebook and another person updates their status or other information with something rude or vulgar.
facebook status before Facebook slapped...."Hanging out with firends"
Status after Facebook slap..."I like cuddling up with my snuggie while enjoying a good book!" Or "Sorry ladies I'm GAY!"