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1. Ganitis
The disease that results from the contraction of the Staphylococcus Shigellosis microorganism. AKA Post-Gan Syndrome (PGS). It is caused by poo-to-mouth contact, and is commonly found in Chinese take-out joints all over Manhattan and sheisty Queens (see: Dougie's).

Today in the United States, it is commonly referred to as Klein's Disorder, after the famed early 21st Century amateur biologist, who first identified the microbe and the scourge associated with it- the hard way.

Ganitis is often accompanied by extreme diarrhea whose hallmark is a velevetty consistency with a hue that can range from khaki to deep purple. Generally, the bouquet of Ganitis, although very much present, varies widely and is as yet unpredictable. As a result, most modern healthcare professionals strongly prefer to ignore the aroma and instead rely heavily on the viscosity and shade of the poo when recommending a treatment.

Usually, treatment consists of bed rest and drinking p...
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