captain futon 

n. a guy who sleeps on a futon...and particularly likes to tell you when he is transforming it from couch to bed form or vise versa.

Captain Futon to girl: I think im gonna lie down on my futon, gimme a second to transform it from couch to bed form.

captain futon by randomness42467 February 21, 2009

Futon Time

Committing sexual acts while being on a futon, most likely on a futon that is not yours.

Walking in while Megan and Chris were having "Futon Time" was so awkward...

Futon Time by Nathan Jang April 5, 2011

Human Futon

A friendly girl who enjoys showering with entire athletic teams and has more random guys pass out on her than a Frat room futon.

Wow Katy, you and the entire football team? You are such a human futon.

Human Futon by Hey Buddy July 2, 2008

futon bum 

A person who spends all their free time laying on a futon, especially in a college dorm room. They usually lay there all day and watch TV and often sleep on it.

Dude, Brian has been on the futon for the past 18 hours! He's such a futon bum!

futon bum by Don't worry who this is February 24, 2008

futon crouton

Any small to fairly sized object that falls between the cushions of a couch, commonly rediscovered after as much as a year of confinement in said furniture. Notable types include Goldfish, Cheez-Its, and popcorn, though more essential living room items, such as TV remotes, have been found, as well.

I found a Hershey's Kiss futon crouton the other day in my Ikea couch. Gave it a sniff to make sure there was no stank and I popped that motherfucker in my mouth.

futon crouton by Dang Lin Wang LXIX November 11, 2016

futon relationship 

When a relationship is functional but not comfortable it's a futon relationship. You know you rather be in a bed.

"Did you see Sally and Billy together last night?"
"Yeah, looks like they're in a futon relationship."

futon relationship by Aimditto November 14, 2015

futon 

A couch that can convert into an uncomfortable bed, possibly the worst transformer of all time.

"You can sleep on the futon!"
"Can I sleep on an actual bed instead?"

futon by CorgisDie February 6, 2017