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Fucktard: an overdue or tardy fuck that had been promised for long ago; a retarded simpleton with a tiny brain contained solely within the head of his dick.
Melanie had been in a state of horniness for too long now, and frustratingly enough, Brad's long awaited fucktard was not enough to satisfy her sexual cravings.

Upon studying the CAT scan images of his completely empty skull and the images of a small gray mass resembling brain tissue in the head of his johnson, Dexter, an insufferable dumb fuck, was properly diagnosed by the doctors as a complete fucktard.
by watergolem October 05, 2006

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Top Definition
A contraction of "fucking retard".
fucking + retard = fucktard
by cm476 November 07, 2002

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Someone who sees 13 pages of definitions for a basic combination of two words and feels the need to add another, identical one.
1) A fucking retard
2) A retarded fuck
3) A fuck, who is also retarded
4) ...
by Anonymous January 16, 2004

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noun,
A person of unbelieveable, inexcuseable and indescribable stupidity. (Stupidity being defined as "knowing how and doing it wrong anyway")

NOT A CONTRACTION FOR "FUCKING RETARD"! Those who are truly "Retarded" are not responsible for their affliction. True Fucktards are 100% responsible for their situation and provide vast entertainment as they are usually blissfully unaware of their own Fucktardery. Most politicians for example.
One who would actually piss on a live transformer. One who would use a live .22 round for a fuse in their pickup truck "just cuz it fits" and then complain about it shooting them in the nuts.

He shot himself in the nuts? Geez, what a fucktard!
by James Wyatt February 24, 2006

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An alias that is used by a very clever person to make Mensa members look like idiots on discussion boards.
Hey Jerome, that fucktard really made you look like you don't know jack about theoretical sub-atomic particle physics.
by Anonymous March 18, 2003

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Noun. A combination of the word "fuck" (to fornicate) and the word "tard" (to delay). Therefore, a fucktard is a girl who won't let you fornicate with her until like the third or fourth date.
Most catholic girls are fucktards.
by Alfie The Horndog July 01, 2005

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A leotard with a hole in the crotch instead of snaps so you can get some quick in and out action between ballet performances.
Damn that ballet was boring, but Jenny wore her Fucktard and gave me a piece if I promised to stay for the whole show. It was worth it!!!
by Andi March 02, 2005

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A person considered to be foolish or socially inept while also being irritatingly offensive.
Give me back my banana you goddam fucktard!
by Jeffrey April 11, 2003

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