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1.
Derived from the root word conundrum

1: a problem or question that is so confusing and befuddling that the emphasis of the expletive fuck is appropriate.

2: a situation where urgent and pressing stimuli force one to hastily make an impromptu decision in which each outcome has serious consequences.
Commander: "She's sustained serious damage to her starboard aft. Our men are working fast to secure her steadfast, but she's taking on 20 tons of water every second. At this point chances are slim that we can reclaim her to watertight, Captain, and if we go another 3 minutes without sealing the watertight bulkheads she'll be listing heavy to starboard, severely limiting our maneuverability. If we don't seal her soon, Captain, our enemy will overtake us."

Captain: "Do we have any communication with the crisis team?"

Commander: "No, sir, they're isolated down there; even worse, our fire teams are having serious trouble battling the fire to link up with them."

Captain: "How many men do we have trapped?"

Commander: "Roughly 350 souls, Captain."

Captain: "and you're certain we have only 3 minutes before we approach the event horizon?"

Commander: "No, as of now we only have two and half minutes, and that, yes, I am certain of."

Captain: "My God, what a fuckonundrum!"
by DallyinAround September 09, 2011