A list of things you don't want to do before you die
Did you see the new Captain America movie?
No man, that shit is on my fuck-it list
A list of things you've always wanted to do or say but never did until a life-changing event takes place.
After being left at the altar, I decided to create my "Fuck-It List," which includes the following recent revelations and activities:
You're fat and you know it.
Your baby is ugly so stop posting pictures of him on Facebook.
Your breath smells like sleep even after you brush your teeth.
When you smile, it looks like you lost your upper lip.
Also, I took a dump in my mom's toilet tank after she yelled at me for the dog hair in my house.
A list of things you've always wanted to do or say but never had the nerve to until something life-changing occurs.
After I was left at the alter, I stopped caring so much about other people's feelings and started to be more honest.
I created my Fuck-It List, which included some of the following recent revelations to people:
"You're fat and you know it."
"I don't care about your stupid Facebook remarks. So you ate too much... Like I care."
"Your kid is ugly and you need to accept it."
"You smell like sleep, even after you brush your teeth."
"Your boyfriend chats on you with random people he meets on Craigslist."
Also, I took a dump in my mom's toilet tank after she yelled at me about the dog hair in my house.