A lesson in greeting:
1. If you are greeting a man, you inquire about his chimpo.
2. If you are greeting a woman, you inquire about her cooter.
3. If you are unsure of the gender of the person you are addressing, or are not familiar enough with the individual, you inquire about his or her front butt.
4. If you are the one being greeted, you simply say "fine," "good," "a little itchy," "bleeding," or "irritated."
Male sufferers of front butt syndrome often have dickdo disease, while female sufferers can be known to have a condition called a gunt.