| 1. | Petrified Wood | ||
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a.k.a. erectile dysfunction. When a chub is too frightened (petrified) to cum out. Vajona Jackson was ready for a hot night of boner-rockin' but her man's unit was too scared to go into the dark. Therefore, his petrified wood "layed" low, unable to rise and shine.
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| 2. | frightened goldfish | ||
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A penis that fails to become erect prior to intercourse Tom was ready to go at it, but Bob was struck with a bad case of the frightened goldfish.
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| 3. | anti boner | ||
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Something awful or distasteful either visually or mentally that causes a non-erect penis to retract inward like a frightened turtle. Example 1. seeing that guy get hit in the balls with a rock gave me an anti boner. Example 2: watching the fat chilean mail woman bend over to pick up mail gave me an anti, bro
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| 4. | IKP | ||
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Instant Kindergarten Penis.
When something causes your manhood to recoil into its shell like a frightened turtle, you are said to have IKP. Causes of IKP include, but are not limited to: - being pantsed in public - getting caught by a parent while doing explicit things with your girlfriend - getting slapped/kicked/tapped in the testicles (see balltap) - having to dance with the DUFF of a group - stepping in the shower when there is no hot water Dude, when my girlfriend's dad caught us having sex, I went total IKP.
When Jake got pantsed in front of his entire gym class, he got IKP like crazy. |
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| 5. | Leather state | ||
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The semi-hard state of a penis between a boner and a frightened turtle. Named for the ceramics term to describe a state of clay when it begins to harden. Popularized by Adam Carolla. When a man takes nude photos, he should get himself to leather state to avoid looking like he has an inch worm.
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