Anybody who knows anything about European military history knows damn well that over the past thousand years, the French have the most glorious military history in Europe, maybe the world.
French victories? If you're a true American patriot, then the American Revolution is the war that matters. Hell, most of you probably couldn't name three major battles from it, but try going back to when you read Johnny Tremaine in fourth grade and you might recall a little place called Yorktown, Virginia, where we bottled up Cornwallis's army, forced the Brits' surrender and pretty much won the war.
Well, news flash: "we" didn't win that battle, any more than the Northern Alliance conquered the Taliban. The French army and navy won Yorktown for us. Americans didn't have the materiel or the training to mount a combined operation like that, with naval blockade and land siege. It was the French artillery forces and military engineers who ran the siege, and at sea it was a French admiral, de Grasse, who kicked the shit out of the British navy when they tried to break the siege.
Long before that, in fact as soon as we showed the Brits at Saratoga that we could win once in a while, they started pouring in huge shipments of everything from cannon to uniforms. We'd never have got near Yorktown if it wasn't for massive French aid.
So how come you bastards don't mention Yorktown in your cheap definitions? I'll tell you why: because you're too ignorant to know about it and too dishonest to mention it if you did.
The thing that gets to me is why Americans hate the French so much when they only did us good and never did us any harm. Like, why not hate the Brits? They're th...
A stupid fatboy's fav' joke.
-Hey bro, dya know about French Victory?
-Hmm, let me guess, Indian natives genocide? The Bay Pig humiliation? The Vietnam War retreat? September 11's cutter assault? The 2nd Irak War, our bravest fight versus peasants?
-Er, I think these are actually some of our finest American Victories! Don't you have any idea?
-No dude, sorry but I don't even know where's France, I'm just an ordinary American fatboy you know. I've heard of this animal stuff, named "Napolion" (sorry I can't handle special characters, it's way too complicate for us yanks) or some, but he was not French, he was from Corsica I've heard on my fav cultural show, the Jerry Springer Show! Corsica must be a small town in Louisiana. Mom told me about Charles Martel (sounds funny hihi!), Hastings and the occupation of England but she might be wrong, afterall French language is made of more than 60% of English words, it can't be! Like our finest America-bred philosoph, President George Walter Bush, said once "the weird with French is they don't even have a name for 'entrepreneur'!" I bet it on the Statue of Liberty, our finest achievement, our old American glory!
-Dammit! My History exam is tomorrow, I'm too dumb to open an History book and check about this shit.
-Hosterlitz, or Austerlitz maybe (too many letter in this word, i'm not used to handle such complicated spelling!), French kicking ass of the Brits, the Russians and the Germans together!
-Fuggedaboutit, Austerlitz is a Cajun food, you'r...
The Common misprint of the phrase 'French Losses.'
Teacher: You are to do a report on French Victories.
Student: Don't you mean French Losses?
Teacher: Yes, all the same.
The last one they could really claim was when they put a 14-year old girl in charge of their army. Of course, the girl in question (St. Joan of Arc--Jeanne D'Arc) was divinely inspired and the English were mostly drunk off their asses, so this may not have been a fair fight. The French were so grateful for their victory, they had her gang-raped, tortured, and burned at the stake.
They do like to claim victories won by others since then, though (Yorktown, both world wars, etc.). Remember, France is the only country in the world that has lost wars against Mexico AND Algeria!
How many French Victories have you heard of that didn't involve lots of guys from other countries doing most of the fighting?
does not exist
french victories are on the other side of the rainbow.
Blowing your junk in her face then sprinting off the bed, out of the room, through the front door and back to your apartment as fast as humanly possible- backwards.
I can't believe how much ground you covered running backwards during your French Victory.
Although extinct like the Dodo bird, the French had to be victorious, else the country of France would not exist.
Modern history simply shows the aging madame is in fact aging... Not a pot to piss in, or anyone to blame, except the world.
The French Victories over England allowed them to continue existing as France. Blame the offspring of King Henry V.