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11.
An complete oxymoron.
The French got pwned in both World Wars without U.S. help.
by M.C. Shithead April 22, 2005
 
1.
France, as a military power, has been the butt of jokes since the controversy over the liberation of Iraq in 2003. But France is a major world power, with a professional military that has superb equipment, much of it indigenously-designed and produced. France spends about $45 billion a year on defense, about 2.6 percent of France’s GDP.

One of the biggest claims France has to major power status is its nuclear arsenal. Consisting of four SSBNs, three Le Triomphant class and the L’Inflexible, each of these carries sixteen M4/M45 missiles, which have a range of 5300 kilometers, and carrying six MIRVs packing a 150-kiloton nuclear warhead. France also has a force of 70 Mirage 2000N bombers carrying the ASMP cruise missile, with a range of 300 kilometers and packing a 300-kiloton warhead. Super Etendards flying from the Charles de Gaulle can also carry this missile.

The French Army is also a powerful force. This force consists of eight brigades, and is now all-volunteer. This has made is much more capable. Equipped with a mixture of LeClerc (240) and AMX-30 (780) tanks, 1050 AMX-10 IFVs, 3820 VAB APCs, and a mix of artillery (216 towed 155mm artillery pieces and 372 self-propelled artillery pieces). The French Army also operates 80 Tigre attack helicopters and 267 Gazelle attack helicopters. Since shifting to an all-volunteer force, the French army has become much better in terms of quality, backed by career non-commissioned officers. This force has carried out operations, mostly in Africa (4,400 in Cote d’Ivorie/Ivory Coast, 1,200 in Chad, and 200 in the Central African Republic), but also in Bosnia (500 troops), Afghanistan (1,800 troops), and Kosovo (3,000).

The French Navy is also a force to be reckoned with. It operates the only CVN outside the U.S. Navy, the Charles de Gaulle. It also has a force of 12 destroyers (two guided-missile destroyers of the Cassard class, a single Suffren-class destroyer, two Tourville-class destroyers, and seven Georges Leyuges-class destroyers), and fifteen frigates (five Lafayette-class and ten D’Estienne d’Orves-class frigates). In addition to the four SSBNs, France also operates six Amethyste-class SSNs. This navy is slightly behind the Royal Navy – the French have a carrier that operates the Rafale, which outperforms the British Sea Harrier, but the British have a larger submarine force and the Royal Navy arguably has the best personnel on a man-for-man basis.

The French Air Force is also one of the best in the world. Among its aircraft are the Mirage 2000, which comes in several variants: The Mirage 2000C, which is primarily an air-defense fighter; the Mirage 2000D, a ground-attack version capable of carrying a wide variety of bombs and missiles join with the Mirage 2000N, which is the backbone of the French Air Force’s nuclear deterrence arm. France also has the Rafale, a powerful multi-role fighter that has some stealth features. France is retiring the older Mirage F1 and Jaguar fighter-bombers, while the Mirage 2000Cs are being upgraded to the Mirage 2000-5, making them potent multi-role aircraft.

France also has the industrial infrastructure – many of its military designs are indigenous, and produced in France. While this can be expensive, it also means that France does not rely on anybody else’s designs. France has worked with other countries in the past (most
notably with England on the Jaguar). As a world power, France arguably ranks third at the present, behind the United States,and Russia due to its nuclear arsenal and professional military.
Compared with french foreign legion, the royal marines are bunch of pansies. Our M2K will shoot down those shitty tornados. And we have got our own foreign policy unlike to UK. To conclude we are better in sex than anglo saxons(there is no comparison !). french army will kick your ass
by So'oialo March 13, 2006
 
2.
The French Army has proven to be one of the most superior armies of the past. The key leaders of great French militaries are Charlesmagne, Louis XIV, and Napoleon.

Also, during its war of independence, the french were fighting a civil war AND invasions from England, Germany, Spain, Italy and from the Dutch. that is five incoming armies.

Many times people claim that the french army is poor because they lost in WW2. which neighboring country didn't lose to the Germans? the only reason that the English survived was becuase of the water.

Not to mention that the Americans would have never won their war of independence without the help of Lafayette and the French navy.

Stupid French Army jokes are based upon no real historical facts. One with a basic notion of history will tell you that the French have had one of the most succesful militaries in history
One of the most succesful and powerful conquerors was Napoleon leading the French Army, which struck fear into all of their oppenents hearts.
by Adrien May 07, 2004
 
3.
HTTP 404 - File not found
Internet Information Services
"Hey Lou, I just saw the french army!"
"The what?"
by weebl August 18, 2003
 
4.
36,000 people with their hands in the air.
The french army is the butt of many jokes. The accusations of cowardice are often strongly denied, although never when there's anyone else to hear. Just in case.
by 1phreman April 13, 2009
 
5.
Material for some quite successful and amusing jokes
"How many French soldiers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Ten. Ten French soldiers to surrender to the lightbulb one American to come in and do it for them."

Hear about the new French army tanks? Two gears: Stop and reverse.

A French captain got the honor of talking to a British captain and asked "why do you wear red coats?" The British captain responded "It's to raise morale by keeping our men from seeing us bleed." The French captain says "What a novel idea. From now on, all French captains will wear yellow pants!"
by Trekker 42 November 21, 2009
 
6.
Weak ass army, that doesn't know what guns are. Its made of 2 guys.
The french army is filled with campers, NOOBS, Blake.
by Everybody's Russian August 12, 2011
 
7.
Civilions and a truck with a 50 cal.
OH no the french army is coming, wait what french army?
by French slayer October 01, 2009