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1. four-year-plan
The extremely safe method to not have children, consisting of waiting four years with a boyfriend/girlfriend before having sex. Also can be taken as 1 base for every year.
Mike: "You hit that yet?"
Skeeter: "Naw man, only half way through that four-year-plan. Sho aint gonna be paying no child support though, YADADAMEAN?!?"
2. Nuke
Nuke is the greatest tool of peace ever made. It prevent wars and, then it the war starts, nuke finish it quickly.

Nuking Stuff has proven popular over the last few years, especially with nazis, right-wing religious groups and crazed uncles. By far, the most popular nuking method is the old 'drop a nuke' but there are also such more intelligent methods, used by people like George Bush - these include 'get a clever person to plan it for you'.

Nuking stuff to music has also recently become very popular. 'Nuke Music' consists of terrorist bands such as System of a Down, Rage Against the Machine and N-Sync. Professional nukers will also listen to Britney Spears, but this is only for advanced nukers. Another skill often attempted by Nukers is NUKING IN TIME TO MUSIC. This type of nuking involves a rhythm and a beat, and plenty of time and effort. Nukes are launched by correctly stepping on one of four arrows at the right time, the more preciseley the arrow is stepped on the more people are killed. A good Nuker can kill a few billion people (hell, it's China) in one round (a full war takes three rounds).
Nuclear recipe

Here is a recipe to a nuke i found in the oval office

2 kilo's uranium 2 kilo's pie 1 very big empty bomb 60,000 cookies 1 G. bush 1 land to nuke 0 braincells Much insanity

To make:

1. Mix the uranium with the pppie]] and put it in george bush.

2. Then, after a day, take bush his shit and put it in the bomb.

3. Add cookies

4. Drop it at the land you selected

Done!

The small letter: Uranium can only be found in bush his secret bunker or the planet ur-anus.
3. Sephiroth
The man, the myth, the mama's boy. The main antagonist of FFVII. Started off as the greatest SOLDIER to ever have graced Shinra inc. (well until he went nuts and slaughtered an entire town, but more on that later). As shown recently his best friends were Angeal and Genesis. Both of whome did the whole turncoat thing first, albeit for very different reasons that him.

Sephi (as the fangirls, and some fanboys refer to him) was the product of the jenova project. Which was headed up by Prof Hojo, who is also Sephiroth's pops, and prof Lucretia, his birth mom. Now Hojo and Lucretia, whome was the object of Vincent Valentines affection (but that's niether here nor there so lets move on), were a couple of scientist who had a thing on the side. So when Lucretia got knocked up Hojo decided it would be the perfect opportunity to further the experiment, and so he injected JENOVA cells into the fetus.

Well long story short Sephiroth was born, Lucretia was thought to have perished during labor, and Hojo shot Vincent and turned him into a guinea pig.

Fast forward twenty something years, Seph's a rising star in SOLDIER. The hero of the great war with wutai, and probably getting more tail than the Rolling Stones (er probably not as much as the stones, but pretty close). As mentioned above he had two best friends, both of whome were the results of a similar project, project Gillian. Lots of stuff happened one of his buds dies, at the hands of Zack Fair (Clouds buddy, Aeris beau). ...
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4. Law of Shen
Every traffic light must be red.
Every luck event must fail.
Every plan will be ruined.
Everything will go wrong.
(however, purely skill based events are excluded)
On the way to an amusement park, get stuck in traffic for over an hour, arrive at the park and wait in line to find the coaster is broken. Four times. Then lock belongings in locker and have a town-wide power outage.
~typical day thanks to the Law of Shen
5. Operation Iraqi Freedom
All: This comes from retired Admiral Martin Carmody and has some bona fides associated with it as he still is "connected" in Washington circles. Take it for what it is worth to your particular point of view.
SINCE MAY 1, 2003 Interesting points to remember when we read all the negatives that are printed daily. Since President Bush declared an end to major combat on May 1...
· The first battalion of the new Iraqi Army has graduated and is on active duty.
· Over 60,000 Iraqis now provide security to their fellow citizens.
· Nearly all of Iraq's 400 courts are functioning.
· The Iraqi judiciary is fully independent.
· On Monday, October 6 power generation hit 4,518 megawatts -exceeding the prewar average.
· All 22 universities and 43 technical institutes and colleges are open, as are nearly all primary and secondary schools.
· By October 1, Coalition forces had rehabbed over 1,500 schools - 500 more than scheduled.
· Teachers earn from 12 to 25 times their former salaries.
· All 240 hospitals and more than 1200 clinics are open.
· Doctors’ salaries are at least eight times what they were under Saddam.
· Pharmaceutical distribution has gone from essentially nothing to 700 tons in May to a current total of 12,000 tons.
· The Coalition has helped administer over 22 million vaccination doses to Iraq's children.
· A Coalition program has cleared over 14,000 kilometers of Iraq's 27,000 kilometers of weed-choked canals, which now irrigate tens of thousand...
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by Elitist Dec 18, 2003 add a video
6. Transatlantic Spanertakic
Transatlantic Spanertakic

The Outcast

”The moon is bright tonight”, said the wise mushroom to the unperturbed cripple, “I have been away from my family for too long now and I must return and seek my vengeance, be it with a mallet, or twenty-three Ikea catalogues.”
This legendary tale started in the year of 1720b.c and Mustafa the mushroom (agricultures self named ‘ard man) and Cuthbert the cripple (disabled peoples self named ‘tuna sandwich) had a plan. They would rob Audley Harrison, the local greengrocer and give the peach coloured doubloons to the “help the aged mushroom charity”. This would help fund day trips for the elderly fungi and encourage them to participate more in events in the local community.
Cuthbert and Mustafa were dressed in black (the favourite colour of thieves’, vagabonds and of course the odd ninja) unfortunately for them it was during the day therefore they’re clothing colour didn’t really matter.
Mustafa tried the cat flap, it was open ‘suspicious’ he thought, ‘the greengrocer doesn’t own a cat.’. The two amigos crept inside, making as little noise as possible and sticking to the shadows. Eventually they reached the forbidden fruit (the till) only to be greeted by…
”No money”, screamed Cuthbert, “what a waste of time/effort that was, I’ve just missed the bingo”
They snuck outside into the dimly lit street. All of a sudden four armoured tricycles pulled up by the kerb and surrounded the two mushrooms, they were trapped like a farmer in...
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by Mr P Nesshead Dec 9, 2004 add a video
7. UCRA
Short for Utpotecanisrabidusaeger, A disease Tim Burton has which causes him to eat dogs.

From Scientific american:Tim Burton, famos director, creator of the films Mars Attacks, Planet of the Apes (the remake), Big Fish, Nightmare Before Christmas, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (the remake), among others, is a very distressed and troubled man. He is this way because of a plaguing disease that gave him cravings for the meat of dogs. Here is his testimony:


"EVERY MORNING for 15 years, it was the same thing: I’d wake up and wonder, is today the day? I’d look in the mirror to see if my skin was starting to yellow. Was that twinge in my right side the beginning of the end? And every morning, my melodramatic musings came to a screeching halt when the usual argument about which of my four kids was going to change the milk bag erupted in the kitchen. But it was always there, in the back of my mind: I have a craving for dog meat, and eventually I’m going to get really sick.


Utpotecanisrabidusaeger, a virus that attacks the liver, can lead to cancer and cirrhosis. I was infected probably almost two decades ago, when I was in my early 20s. As a hemophiliac, I regularly inject myself with a blood-clotting agent derived from the blood of potentially scores of donors. Thousands of Canadians were infected through blood transfusions before 1990 -- including 95 per cent of the hemophiliacs who received blood products. Utpotecanisrabidusaeger was not regarded as a separate ...
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by Cheesebadger Dec 26, 2004 add a video
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