My fortune cookie had the local animal shelter's phone number listed on it.....oh SHIT!!!
What future does your fortune cookie bring?
The cheapest possible meal you can buy a woman so she will sleep with you. If you play it right, you can get her to pay for her meal, give her the cookie, and tell her some smooth romantic bullcrap that she can't read her fortune until she eats at least half the cookie. Stare into her eyes deeply. Classic line + clueless chick = free sex. This usually works best on desperate ugly women.
I gave Mary a fortune cookie and told her that she couldn't read the fortune until she ate half the cookie. Oh yeah, she bought it!
by D December 03, 2003
An overweight person bending in any direction. Refers to the similarity of the take-out dessert and the pinched skin between folds visible above the jeans or below the shirt.
The fortune cookie in front of me at Regal clearly did not need extra butter.
by Gee Dee Bee January 07, 2008
cookie shaped like moon if moon was made out of cookie dough. fortune shaped like a fortune.
"What's the fortune in your fortune cookie, Alexandra?"
by Alexandra January 27, 2003
the post-coital act of putting a used condom back into the vagina, ideally without the girl's knowledge......a great practical joke !!
when she awoke in the morning and used the bathrom she found the fortune cookie i left her.
by MORGAN August 11, 2003
a peice of crap cookie that tastes like cardboard with a peice of paper in it!

Actually the Fortune Cookie was NOT invented in China or Asia!

i was actually invented in san francisco! - the one thing that was not made in china; oh wait they do make it we just invented it!
Girl: When do we get our fortune cookies?
Guy: Why do you want a cookie that tastes like cardboard??
Girl: Because it has a fortune in it.
Guy: Thoses are bull shit, i could tell you your fortune and it would be better that the ones they make up and stick in thoses cookies!
by Olivia Traylor November 25, 2007
They taste like poop and smell like it,too.
Johnny opened up his fortune cookie and it said "No matter what college or university you go to,your still gonna end up getting a crappy job"
by TheWiggidy November 04, 2003
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