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A man's sport that requires you to take a hit from a 300+ pound guy who runs a 4.4 40 yard dash. Everyone is swole as fuck, quick as fuck, and tough as shit. It is often critisized by silly-ass foreigners because of the pads, but these cunt muffins fail to realize that these pads are required, or the player might get seriously fucked up. Most people realize that these shit talkers could never come close to being on the same level as these athletes. It is also one of the most entertaining sports in the world, unlike soccer, where a bunch of fags run around a kick a ball for 3 hours.
Soccer Player-"Soccer is the most popular sport in the world!"

Football Player-"Shut the fuck up bitch, and suck this dick."

Soccer Player-"Yes sir.......
*Glaugh Blaugh Hauge*
Soccer Player-"Can I stop now sir?"

Football Player- *Beats the shit out of the little ho*
by The Horns Guy March 01, 2010
Football is a really stupid game, played with a round ball. 11 stupid men chase the ball around the field, trying to score a goal.
Can be referred to as a sport, but only a fool can do that. It's only a game.
Football is a game. Triathlon is a sport.
by CrazyAlien November 07, 2008
A game in the USA, where two teams try to move down a 100 yard field to the other team's goal by either passing the ball or running the ball given 4 downs to complete at least ten yards to continue the drive. It is a much more entertaining and better sport than the other football played in other countries, and the other football is only popular because they haven't been introduced to a real sport with physical contact and the lack of short-shorts. AL 90 AND MATTHEW ARE JUST A FEW ENGLISH RETARDS WHO CAN'T HANDLE A SPORT THAT INVOLVES TOUGHNESS, CONTACT, AND TACKLING. IT'S BASICALLY LIKE RUGBY BUT BETTER!
AL 90: Hey mate, why don't we drink some tea and watch men run around in short-shorts kicking a ball for three straight hours.

Matthew: Good idea chap, but I've found out a better sport also called football that's in America! It involves more than just kicking a ball! You actually do OTHER things too, and people get to knock the crap out of other people when you tackle them!

AL 90: but hitting hurts and I like watching men in short- shorts.

Matthew: Men in short shorts it is!
by The American Matt November 27, 2006
big fat gay men with large hair who use the sport to touch other men.... also they use to sport to get rid of anger without kicking infants
SCHAFER plays football
by shwizzz March 22, 2009
1) The most impacting phenomenon in humanity since Christianity. A 'sport' played all around the world. misnamed as 'soccer' most prominently in the U.S.A.

2) Misnaming Gridiron. A lesser discipline commonly misnamed as Football, instead being more related to rugby. A contact sport played most commonly in U.S.A. and Canada where around 11 men were big armors and tight pants and grapple each other in short intervals of 5 seconds. Usually to catch a breather and to show commercials.
- FIFA is a big mafia that has control over football all around the world.

- U.S.A. is the gayest country on Earth, that's why they enjoy their contact sports so much, for instance American Football.
by 60l) March 13, 2009
A popular sport in which men in tight pants and cups around their penises tackle and spank each other.
Chad spanked Patrick after he was tackled by the other team during the football game.
by Tyler P. February 26, 2008
Slang term for xanax (alprazolam)simply because of their shape .5mg = peach football 1mg = blue football
"Yo i just picked up a buncha xanax if u need any.."
"What u got the bars?"
"Nah just some blue footballs but theyll do the trick."
by F4SN8R August 27, 2007