A sport played by 22 men or women on a large grass field running around kicking a round ball. Also called "soccer" by Americans (to differentiate from American football), Canadians (to differentiate from Canadian football), Australians (to differentiate from Australian Rules football), and some Irish (to differentiate from Gaelic football). Therefore, despite what most every arrogant, narrow-minded Eurosnob or Britsnob thinks, The US is not the only nation which calls football "soccer," and no country calls it "soccer" due to ignorance, simply a different evolution of terms.

Every nation on Earth plays football, some better than others. The most popular club football leagues are found in Europe, where you can enjoy hundreds of pussy Europeans flopping and flailing and crying on the ground, only to get up ten seconds later, completely unharmed and unfazed, after they've made sure they have gotten the call from the ref.

Despite all the bickering about terminology, pussy players, and European retardation, football is a simple, fun game that can be enjoyed by everyone.
European football (especially Italian) in a nutshell:
-Player 1 takes the ball downfield after taking possession from Opponent 1
-Opponent 2 slightly brushes the leg of Player 1
-Player 1 yells, clutches face, falls to ground, writhes in agony, still clutching face, apparently unaware that their leg was touched and not their face
-Referee blows whistle, cards Opponent 2, awards free kick to Player 1
-Player 1 immediately gets up and acts like nothing has happened
by deaneden August 10, 2009

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That sport where the legendary people in band play for the audience. If a football player gets hurt, he lays on the ground, while players are on their knees and the crowd is silent. If a marching band player gets hurt, they get right back up and walk it off. Football is for highschool. Marching band is 4LYFE!
While the boring football players walk off the field - not even in step! - , the amazing marching band comes to entertain the sleeping crowd with their halftime show.
by ChiroPanther October 30, 2012

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one of the most un-athletic sports in the world. its stop and go, which means you don't have to be in shape. football consists the fattest players in sports. in the majority of high schools it is a non-cut sport. it also has the biggest meat heads that take steroids and don't give a fuck about their life.
Person 1: Dude. Want to play football?
Person 2: What are you calling me, fat and lazy?
by bballrunner11 August 29, 2010

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A useless sport in which men run around on a large field in tight pants, tackling each other over a silly little ball.
The man tried to tackle the other man who had the ball, but he didn't want to get his tight pants dirty.
Guy 1: What the hell are they doing?
Guy 2: They must be playing football.
by googleroxballz May 14, 2011

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The most fun game EVER. You can play tackle, flag, and many more. It's the most fun playing with a bunch of people that are way strong!
Body builder: "Hey man, you wanna go play some football???!!!"

Tiny man: "Naw man, you'd CRUSH me!"

Body builder: "That's the point!!"
by Hottay232323 April 30, 2009

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The greatest sport ever made. And not to be confused with soccer. football as in the nfl. the most exciting sport ever to be made. That envolves 11 men on offense and 11 men on defense. all playes wear equiment like helments and shoulder pads to protect them from enjury due to the rough conctact in the sport. they are played ib 4 down intervals. the only way to keep going is to gain 10 yards befor your 4 downs are up. the deffense tries to stop this from happening. the ball can ether be handed off to a running back or thrown the a reciever by a quater back. the quater back is protected by lineman. the lineman protect from deffesive lineman and linebackers. the recievers are covered by cornerbacks, safties, and linebacker who also can ruse the quater. line backers also watch for the running back.
I was watching a NFL football game today. the Chicago Bears lost to the Pittsburg steelers 35 to 0.
by T.R.O.R April 13, 2011

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A really awful sport that idiots worship.
Person A: Hey look Man Utds playing.

Person B: DOH!!! DID U KNOWZ THAT WAYNE ROONEY WAS TRANSFERED FOR LIKE A GAZILLION POUNDS!!!! FOOTBALL RULEZ!!!
by Tron/rinziler January 03, 2011

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