The rest of the World: A sport that is obsessed over by almost everyone. Reffered to as "soccer" in America, is actually pretty exciting to watch, but can get frustrating as injuries are faked almost every 25 seconds
Person 2 "Which one?"
The rest of the World: Person 1 "OMG that was an amazing goal!.....OMG that
guy is being taking off on a stretcher, did you see what happened?"
Person 2 " He got bumped into"
Every nation on Earth plays football, some better than others. The most popular club football leagues are found in Europe, where you can enjoy hundreds of pussy Europeans flopping and flailing and crying on the ground, only to get up ten seconds later, completely unharmed and unfazed, after they've made sure they have gotten the call from the ref.
Despite all the bickering about terminology, pussy players, and European retardation, football is a simple, fun game that can be enjoyed by everyone.
-Player 1 takes the ball downfield after taking possession from Opponent 1
-Opponent 2 slightly brushes the leg of Player 1
-Player 1 yells, clutches face, falls to ground, writhes in agony, still clutching face, apparently unaware that their leg was touched and not their face
-Referee blows whistle, cards Opponent 2, awards free kick to Player 1
-Player 1 immediately gets up and acts like nothing has happened
Yeah mate, get us a beer.
Person 2: What are you calling me, fat and lazy?
Guy 1: What the hell are they doing?
Guy 2: They must be playing football.