Subscribe English
look up any word, like ratchet:
1. Greatest sport in the history of the human race next to running while having sex with the opposite sex. Involves two teams moving a ball comprised of pig skin down a field to an endzone to score points.
2. Not soccer.

3. Sport at which most other countries outside the United States can't play because they lack a great extent of physical talent. In turn said countries try to claim their inferior sport, which goes by the same name as the USA's, is as good if not better yet consists of a field with a bunch of dorks standing around kicking a ball back and forth for hours. Fans must resort to drinking and using drugs for stimuli since boredom usually ensues after the first 2 minutes of play.
Guy 1: Hey mate let's go to the pub before the football game!
Guy 2: Excellent idea 'ol chap! Let me grab my manpurse before well tally'o down and catch the carriage.
Guy 1: Right'o! I want to make sure I'd good and sauced before the game otherwise I might realize the sport I'm watching is boring as hell.
Guy 2: Brilliant!
by Straightablebodiedwhitemale October 12, 2010
27 57
The briefcase that contains activation codes and locations to every nuclear warhead in the country. It travels with the President at all times, and a warhead can be activated from the football. The codes are organized by chapter in the playbook. If you look in the background of any picture of the President after 1945, you will see a Secret Service agent holding the football.
It was agent Robinson's duty to keep track of the football. He was ordered to be prepared to give his life to protect it.
by Trem April 01, 2007
82 113
For anyone that calls AMERICAN Football "Gay" or "Slow" just look at this video: Football is a game of strategy, strength, and speed. Soccer is a game of who can run all over a field without passing out.
Football is the best game in the world
by Geeter August 23, 2006
46 77
A game where men play with a ball and wrap their arms around each other too take them down to the ground. Usually after every play the main player gets a smack on the ass by another player, both whom are male, while other male fans cheer them on.
Guy 1: Hey did you watch the football game?

Guy 2: yea

Guy 1: What happened?

Guy 2: The running back scored a touchdown and the other his teamates hugged him and smacked him on the ass.

Guy 1: That sounds pretty gay.
by guitargod January 03, 2008
83 117
A brutal game. It's not about skill, it's about who wants it more. Football is a rough, intense, and vicious sport. Most people can't take it, but if you do, you'll be a chickmagnet. Sorry soccer players.
Girl 1 - Do you like Jack?
Girl 2 - No! He's a wimpy soccer player. I like real men who play football, like Mike.
by Lilliam December 29, 2007
71 107
pronunciation: uuuhhhh...fooobawl...*grunt*

Definition 1:
An american sport that focuses on winning and nothing more. Played with an oblong shaped object made of leather or synthetic material which is pointed on both ends and filled with air. Players of the sport wear extensive systems of body armor to protect them from injury during the course of the game, which involves running around on a 100-yard long field for the sole purpose of tackling and getting the ball to the end zone to score points. The most important piece of equipment is the helmet, which is used to protect their brain (small as it is) from injury.

Football players tend to be egotistic, and often belligerent, assholes due to the sick obsession that schools and the media have with sports and sports stars, which inflates their egos and affords them special treatment wherever they go.

The coaches of these teams are oftentimes worse than the players due to an insatiable drive to WIN! WIN! WIN! People are often belittled by these cretins for lack of interest in sports. Players are beat into submission for losing a game (sounds like macho marine corps type bullshit to me).

Definition 2:
A form of male homoerotic behavior used to compensate for inferior penis size and lack of anger management skills. Also feeds their repressed drive to make sweet love to other men from behind (hut hut hike...ohhhh).
Football is stupid...
by rockhead72 October 03, 2007
95 139
1. In America: An amazing and brutal game in which two teams attempt to score touchdowns. There are a lot of rules, but its basically slamming someone into the ground. America's new pastime.
2. Everywhere else: A game with a soccer ball in which two teams try to score a goal, no using your hands. Known as soccer. The world's pastime.
1. Baseball is boring and gay, that is why i, like 99% of americans, would rather watch football.
2. In europe they play football with their feet.
by dimelis_16 May 09, 2007
127 180