2. Not soccer.
3. Sport at which most other countries outside the United States can't play because they lack a great extent of physical talent. In turn said countries try to claim their inferior sport, which goes by the same name as the USA's, is as good if not better yet consists of a field with a bunch of dorks standing around kicking a ball back and forth for hours. Fans must resort to drinking and using drugs for stimuli since boredom usually ensues after the first 2 minutes of play.
Guy 2: Excellent idea 'ol chap! Let me grab my manpurse before well tally'o down and catch the carriage.
Guy 1: Right'o! I want to make sure I'd good and sauced before the game otherwise I might realize the sport I'm watching is boring as hell.
Guy 2: Brilliant!
Guy 2: yea
Guy 1: What happened?
Guy 2: The running back scored a touchdown and the other his teamates hugged him and smacked him on the ass.
Guy 1: That sounds pretty gay.
Girl 2 - No! He's a wimpy soccer player. I like real men who play football, like Mike.
An american sport that focuses on winning and nothing more. Played with an oblong shaped object made of leather or synthetic material which is pointed on both ends and filled with air. Players of the sport wear extensive systems of body armor to protect them from injury during the course of the game, which involves running around on a 100-yard long field for the sole purpose of tackling and getting the ball to the end zone to score points. The most important piece of equipment is the helmet, which is used to protect their brain (small as it is) from injury.
Football players tend to be egotistic, and often belligerent, assholes due to the sick obsession that schools and the media have with sports and sports stars, which inflates their egos and affords them special treatment wherever they go.
The coaches of these teams are oftentimes worse than the players due to an insatiable drive to WIN! WIN! WIN! People are often belittled by these cretins for lack of interest in sports. Players are beat into submission for losing a game (sounds like macho marine corps type bullshit to me).
A form of male homoerotic behavior used to compensate for inferior penis size and lack of anger management skills. Also feeds their repressed drive to make sweet love to other men from behind (hut hut hike...ohhhh).
2. Everywhere else: A game with a soccer ball in which two teams try to score a goal, no using your hands. Known as soccer. The world's pastime.
2. In europe they play football with their feet.