1. (World) Football (aka Soccer) is a simple minded woman's sport (of course, how could it be otherwise...) where they run around a field trying to kick a ball; like a sugar loaded dog; into the other's team goal stand, or whatever. Operationally, it is a lot like Hockey, except a lot more gay. 'Men' are also known to practice this lame game (shit); in this case, a bunch of effeminate losers get off to rub and watch someone else's legs, butts and other private parts that giggle around. Worst still, the 'men' that like to watch this travesty are obvious closet homos that fantasise being humped by the players over the excruciatingly long and boring hour and a half plus that actually contains under five minutes worth of actual action. The mad skills required are dancing, for dribbling; and running, for positioning. Seriously; even though only and asshole would actually take it like that. The strategic component is laughable (I guess that helps to explain the popularity of it); just run, kick-pass and shoot; repeat ad nauseam. The only little fun is that you can make the ball handler trip. May have to take a penalty shot; or some other bullshit; but if done correctly, it's definetly worth it (imho).

2. (US) American football is a sorry-ass redneck recreation of a fantasy battle. Albeit a little more manly than 'Succer' (ie, less gay); however it has little to do with actual kicking, being more akin to Rugby; and hence it has to do more with name calling, crazy stupid hitting, physical hurting and permanent injuries. That is to say, carry by hand the revered ovally shaped ball (dildo) to the other side whilst avoiding being enviously, butt-hurtingly tagged (tackled or better stated, fucked) to score. Passes are made by throwing; there's however a little kicking overall, mostly for extra scoring points. The game goes like this; the captain (may be directed by coaches) select a complex predetermined offensive/defensive play (at least inasmuch as those neanderthals can comprehend), the team executes, someone scores (or don't); hopefully getting hurt; and it starts all over again. Seeing someone (a moron) taken out nearly unconscious (or badly hurt) is the main reason to watch. To make it more true contact like, should be played without any protective gear; also, a couple of weapons would spice things up a notch and make it more macho and interesting; to say the least (for me anyhow).
Football in all it's incarnations, still remains the most inconsequential, sub-mental and gayest shit; unequivocably so. A foolish game for the truly fool. Every decent and rational human being should despise it.
by manigordo April 01, 2008

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The greatest and most popular sport in history with more than 5 times the TV audience of the next most popular (cricket - every radio and TV in the sub-continent is permanently tuned to Pakistan/India cricket matches - that's a big audience).

Only Americans call it 'soccer' owing to their vast ignorance of what goes on outside their national boundaries and the misnomer which has them thinking than a corruption of rugby, with all the danger and most of the skill removed can also be called 'football'.

'The Beautiful Game' can be played anywhere, on almost any surface, by any number of players, for almost any length of time. And is. There is no country on earth that doesn't play. It has inspired more passion, more courage and more excitement than any other sport in history and dwarfs everything else.
Football is, without question, the defining sporting activity of the human race.
by sicinius October 15, 2007

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When a girl is playing footsie with you, and her foot travels up to your crotch.
She was playing football with me all through dinner.
by pseudonym April 12, 2004

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A name given to two different sports in which America and the rest of the world use to waste their lives away constantly arguing over which is better. Honestly, I'm an American. And I love the game of American football. But notice how I haven't said that I hate football (aka soccer). In fact, I love that sport, too. I just totally suck at it. Haha. C'mon, be real ya'll. Both games are cool. Even rugby too. It's cool. I have no idea how to play it, but I enjoy trying. It's all preference. For all ya'll that say football is whack cause we wear padding, go ahead and say whatever the fuck you want to say. That padding protects us so we can stay a little safer to enjoy the game a little longer. I don't care if I don't use it, I've tackled mofos twice my size without any padding on. The point I'm trying to make; All three games are great. They all require stratedgy, strength, speed, and endurance. So just shut the fuck up, grab the ball that suits you, and play your damn game already. You got that? Kay, just helping out. I'm just a 15yr old from a small town. Yeah, yeah... What do I know? Honestly? I know it's fucking pointless for ya'll to fight over sports. So just save your shit for someone who's still too much of a punk to simply enjoy a game of American football, football, or rugby. Peace people! Damn. Haha.
(just writing to fill in this shit :P)
(damn, now i gotta write "football" too. there, ya happy you fuckers?)
by Dennis #25 Southern Cowboys October 12, 2008

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Football - Only the best damn sport ever. Played with a round ball and feet. However, Americans tend to mistake it for American Football (which should truthfully be called tackleball for all that matters).
Football - The only game you'll ever need to know

"If you're not a MANC, You're a WANK!"
by ArielVicious February 21, 2008

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Also Known As the BEAUTIFUL GAME. A real sport played with your FEET and an actual round BALL, hence the name FOOTBALL. This term should never be used to refer to our silly american game of putting on 30 pounds of armor and carrying a cone shaped piece of rubber while trying not to be touched by other guys. You'll note the lack of definitions calling this silly game football. And there is a reason for that. Some silly americans give us a bad name by not noticing what is going on in the rest of the world and don't realize that there was already a real sport called football when we made up our game, but everyone else in the world knows whats up.
P.S. Please, if you are American please stop saying the S word (s****r)and saying that our american game is better than real football. If you are not american just know that not all of us are confused faggots.
Football is the best and most popular sport in the world.
by tomdelonge November 16, 2007

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A lovely game that alot of people play.
Also the most importmant sport in the world.
Very famous, but also fun for people who like football.
If you dont play football yet, i would say:
Give it a try!

Ofcourse if you start at older age, you wont get as good as Ronaldo, Messi, ...
But doesnt matter, its just for fun! ( Mostly )
D1: " Wanna play some Football?"
D2: " Football is shit!"
D1: " Just cause you cant play football, no reason to call it shit! "
by Sint-Truiden March 11, 2009

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A variety of games that which Europeans and Americans tend to argue over pointlessly till the end of time as to which version is "right" never minding the fact that due to Cultural Mutation different words can mean different things in other places
Typically Americans profess love for the version that involves padding and an ovoid ball in which the point of the game is to move the ball ten yards down the field at a time through either rushing or passing before passing into the plain of the "End Zone" placed at either ends of a 100 Yard Field to score points
Europeans tend to extol the virtues of a much simpler sport that only requires a pair of goals placed at either end of a field and is played with a checkered Spherical Ball
American: Hey, lets go play Soccer!
European: HEY FUCK YOU! ITS CALLED FOOTBALL YOU IGNORANT YANK!
Rest of World: Oh for fuck's sake stop arguing and just play dammit!
by Rick Dominated April 30, 2008

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