A game in the USA, where two teams try to move down a 100 yard field to the other team's goal by either passing the ball or running the ball given 4 downs to complete at least ten yards to continue the drive. It is a much more entertaining and better sport than the other football played in other countries, and the other football is only popular because they haven't been introduced to a real sport with physical contact and the lack of short-shorts. AL 90 AND MATTHEW ARE JUST A FEW ENGLISH RETARDS WHO CAN'T HANDLE A SPORT THAT INVOLVES TOUGHNESS, CONTACT, AND TACKLING. IT'S BASICALLY LIKE RUGBY BUT BETTER!
AL 90: Hey mate, why don't we drink some tea and watch men run around in short-shorts kicking a ball for three straight hours.

Matthew: Good idea chap, but I've found out a better sport also called football that's in America! It involves more than just kicking a ball! You actually do OTHER things too, and people get to knock the crap out of other people when you tackle them!

AL 90: but hitting hurts and I like watching men in short- shorts.

Matthew: Men in short shorts it is!
by The American Matt November 27, 2006

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A £ multi-billion industry based around 20 overpaid tribal heroes kicking a ball around, as in the grounds thousands of semi-evolved, illiterate grunting beasts attempt to kick the living shit out of eachother.

These Mongo Retardopithicus footballii are tribal creatures, easily regognised by their sloping forheads, prominant brow-ridges, shaven heads, vulgar and garish gold sovereign rings and the finest chunky gold chains that Argos can supply as well as their tribal war-paint.

They are a primitive people, who worship the Sun (especially page 3 ). Most are incapable of using words of over 2 sylables ( foot-ball, mon-go, rooo-knee, ga-zza, lar-gah, be'-kham ) the only exception being their legendary spiritual home, the mythical Ing-Gerr-Laaaand. Each tribe slavishly worshipping a tribal god-icon and it's associated 12 warrior- heroes,or 'Teeems. Usually, these tribes are blood enemies ( Chel-see tribe strong, kill Ars-nal tribe, ug! ) , fighting vicious battles over the ritualised tribal war carried out by the Teeems These battles invariably end up in local human population centres being damaged ( 'Mongo's Teeem is lose, Mongo smash up town, ug!' or, conversely 'Mongo's Teeem is win, Mongo smash up town, ug!' )
Every 4 years however, the tribes of Ing Gerr-Laaaand come together for a month-long frenzy of obsessive stupidity.
Thanks the goddess it only happens every 4 years.
At the mention of the sacred word 'football' the assembled primitives began to hoot and beat their chests excitedly, this soon resulted in the entire town centre being destroyed.
by Kynth November 30, 2011

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Football means different things in different places. In the United States of America, it refers to American Football, which involves 11 padded players (the offense) attempting to bring an oblong ball into the oppenents endzone, whereas the other 11 players (the defense) try to stop this from happening while trying to cause a turnover (interception, recovered fumble) or make the offense go 3 and out; as 4 downs are given to the offense to advance 10 yards. If they do so, they are given 4 fresh downs. To see more, search American Football or click on the link provided.

Football elsewhere refers to what I and other Americans know as soccer; which involves 11 players on each team attempting to kick a checkered sphere into the opponents goal. Hands can only be used by the goalie, who can not leave the rectangle in front of their goal; other players must move the ball by kicking it or heading it. See other definitions on this page or search soccer for further explanation.

I love to play American Football, whether it is casually with friends or competitively with my school team. I however do not like competitive soccer, though I do like playing casually with friends. It is a matter of prefence, and will everyone stop bickering about which one is better? It is opinion, nothing else.
Fan: Football kicks soccer's f&*%ing ass! Soccer eats hairy balls.

Fan: Football kicks American football's f#$%ing ass! American football eats hairy balls.

Reasonable Person: Oh shut up, both of you idiots. They're both good sports.
by soccer, football, whatever April 14, 2010

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Nuclear retardation diesease where foot grows out of testi satchel
My uncle went to chernobyl and came back with a bad case of foot ball.
by General Asswipe July 06, 2006

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Football is the best sport in the history of man, not including wizarding sports like Quidditch. For U.S.A users, it's soccer. You kick a ball into a net, and shout and scream for the rest of the match because you scored.
Guy 1: Hey, I scored a goal in football today!
Guy 2: Well, I scored ten goals in my football match!
by old handle July 04, 2014

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The sport originated in England in which you use your feet to kick a ball into a goal. This sport has nothing in common with American Football (see handegg.) It is the most played and watched sport in the world, but that is denied by some Americans who insist that baseball is indeed the world's game.
Wow, what a goal by Arsenal FC. Great football.
by ArsenalTilIDie November 22, 2010

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the best sport of all time and im talking about american football not that soccer crap
NFL is football
by thatAMERICAN May 22, 2015

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A sport played mostly by egotistic assholes.
Man look at how buff I am because of football.
by Carl_Doee May 25, 2013

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