Perhaps the most mentally and physically demanding game out there. Tons of Strategy, Strength and Speed all in one game. Not to be confused with Soccer (Where Upper Body Strength is not required) or Rugby (In which any dumbass can be succesfull)

Players in football are required to memorize 100s of different plays, formations, and rules. Players have been known to lift 400-600 pounds (Incase you don't know that is A LOT) and have been known to run a 4.13 in the 40 (Which is EXTREMELY Fast) with a vertical jump of "43 (Which is AMAZINGLY impressive)
A Day in the Life of a Football Player:

"You're an offensive lineman and it's late in the game.

You're mentally tired. Sweat, snot and spit drips off your face as you look down to see your hand still shaking from when you crushed it in the first quarter. There is probably some nerve damage. Your knees ache, your back hurts so bad it's hard to stand up straight. You wince and feel a burning sensation. Your vision is blurred due to a cut on your forehead from your last collision with some alcoholic 6'5" 320lb War-Daddy running a 4.8, benching 500, and cleaning 401 at 17% body fat who has an outstanding warrant for his arrest, beats his girlfriend regularly and just insulted your mom with words you couldn't understand. His only instructions were to "Get to the ball, and be in a bad mood when you get there!!"

Now that just happened two plays ago and when you lined up for the next play you were still dizzy from what could probably be diagnosed as a minor concussion. But this is football and anything with "minor" attached to it just doesn't count. Now in the outside world you would probably miss a week of work and file some insurance claim, but here in your world you've got to suck it up for the next play. You're dizzy, can't get your balance, you barely hear the play, can't see, can't really hear the quarterback because of the 80,000 screaming fans, and then before you know it your man sacks the quarterback, takes off his helmet calls you a bitch while doing a dance.

Now the coach calls a timeout and you run over to the sidelines as your teammates yell "Come on! Get it together man!" The fans boo you relentlessly because they didn't drive 3hrs on a Saturday to see you blow the game because of a little headache. You barely make it over to the sideline because you're still dizzy and here comes your "motivational" speech from some wide-eyed 5'8" 280 lb redneck with a wad of chew in his mouth. "What in the heeelllll was that?! Get your ass down, your hands up and punch his @#$!. Didn't you hear the `River call?! They were in a 50 package with a weak side blitz. You know you've got to slide right you big dumb @#$!*! You made a commitment to this team!! Where is your pride son?!! People are counting on you! On YOU!! How can you call yourself an athlete and take that abuse in front of all these people and millions at home? God-bless son, what do your parents think? Get your head in the game!! If you don't want to play, hell, I got three freshman over there that will play for your fat ass!! I'll suit up someone from the stands before I watch you do that crap again!! I'd rather have my little sister out there giving 100% than watch you half-ass it out there because you're tired and you don't want to give the effort. Now get out there and do your job boy!"

So now you get in the huddle and here comes the quarterback with the call: "Larry Left, 90 XY out on Two, on Two. Ready ....BREAK!!

So here's what goes through your head: "90...90....What is 90? That's a 7 step drop. He needs lots of time. Damn my hand hurts! Larry Left. OK, I've got the tight-end on my side so the 7 technique will be wide. The Mike is right and I'm uncovered, so I've got the Sam to the end to the Corner. Easy. Oh crap, they eagled down and War-Daddy is lined up with me, and I don't have help because the other guard has a two technique and the center is uncovered and he has to slide. Better go from a two point stance, this guy is quick."

"Ready set, Black 280.....Black 280....Hut!! Hut!!.

He engages. You get a good punch. He counters with an inside rip. You open your hip, lock out your right hand and smash his @#$!* into the ground and kick him for emphasis. You look up and the Mike came on a delayed blitz and the center got tangled up with the two technique so it's between you and the Mike, between you and the quarterback getting the ball to the open receiver, between you and victory. You lunge, get a piece of his knee with your already smashed hand. You probably just broke it. It's not pretty, but you get enough of him. The ball is released and . . . Touchdown!!

After the win you sit in a pool of blood, dirt, sweat, snot, and someone else's blood. You smell like you slept in a garbage can. You sit there with 2 ice packs on each shoulder and an ice pack on your neck and one on your hand which is still throbbing. You have to get a trainer to cut the inches of tape and equipment and special padding you use to get your body ready for the game because you are simply too tired to move. As he works the tape off you vaguely hear him talking about how great the game was and how you're the man. He asks what you're doing after the game. You mumble, "I'm not sure, thanks man", and hobble off the table. The shower feels good but it stings like hell because of all the open cuts. You use shampoo instead of soap because it's easier to lather up. After a game it is so hard to do even the most minute things. You've just given 100%. People usually never push their body that far."
by CAperas September 10, 2006
the most exciting game on earth. the game can end up both teams having no scores or if lucky maybe it will reach the score of 3 or 2.

the better you act, the more times you can get some penalty kicks.

it is very exciting, you can watch it and take a nap and when you wake up both teams still don't have any scores
football fan #1: dang, i was not able to watch the game last night. people said it was very exciting

football fan #2: geez man you stupid. the game was intense, no one scored until the last minute. my boy del mundo did his thing, he acted like his balls were kicked, he looked like he was in deep pain and so they got a penalty kick and scored and they won. woo hoo! i love this shit
by iWontUseMyRealName2 August 01, 2011
American football is the greatest sport ever created, not to be confused with football(soccer)
John : Are you watching the football game on Sunday?

Eric: I'm watching football all day on Sunday! Even on Monday and Thursday!
by TheTweetGuy December 23, 2013
a sport combining skill,muscle,brains and strategy, where a team works together to get the ball up the field to the end zone or to prevent it. once the team gets to the goal it becomes a touchdown.it involves alot of running and is very hard to master.there are people in the game called officials they call the game.
the pro football players are playing football in the superbowl
by D3V1N L1NDS3Y February 01, 2009
America: A sport that is obsessed over by almost everyone, even though the game is boring to watch due to constant pauses in the game. Is highly physical resulting in many health problems later in life. Is talked 99.9% of the time on Sports Center, even when it is the offseason.

The rest of the World: A sport that is obsessed over by almost everyone. Reffered to as "soccer" in America, is actually pretty exciting to watch, but can get frustrating as injuries are faked almost every 25 seconds
America: Person 1 "Hey did you see that segment on sportscenter about
football"

Person 2 "Which one?"

The rest of the World: Person 1 "OMG that was an amazing goal!.....OMG that
guy is being taking off on a stretcher, did you see what happened?"

Person 2 " He got bumped into"

by T. Phill July 01, 2007
Contrary to the beliefs of many brits on here, football is a sport in which teams try to move the ball past the opposing team's goal line to score a touchdown. It is not a game just played by ass-slapping fatasses, it is actually one of the most demanding sports in the world. Players must memorize a playbook sometimes containing hundreds of plays. Football is the ultimate team sport, teammates must learn to rely on each other in clutch situations. And if you think wearing pads makes football players pussies, then you try getting crushed by a 250 pound linebacker. The pads are used more for weapons than anything. And football has equally passionate fans as soccer does, however you dont see us starting mobs that eventually trample 50 people to death.
Brit: American football is for pussies and wankers hehehe it stops every two seconds and therefore i hate it and all americans!!!!

by Plumer August 12, 2006
That sport where the legendary people in band play for the audience. If a football player gets hurt, he lays on the ground, while players are on their knees and the crowd is silent. If a marching band player gets hurt, they get right back up and walk it off. Football is for highschool. Marching band is 4LYFE!
While the boring football players walk off the field - not even in step! - , the amazing marching band comes to entertain the sleeping crowd with their halftime show.
by ChiroPanther October 30, 2012
A sport played by 22 men or women on a large grass field running around kicking a round ball. Also called "soccer" by Americans (to differentiate from American football), Canadians (to differentiate from Canadian football), Australians (to differentiate from Australian Rules football), and some Irish (to differentiate from Gaelic football). Therefore, despite what most every arrogant, narrow-minded Eurosnob or Britsnob thinks, The US is not the only nation which calls football "soccer," and no country calls it "soccer" due to ignorance, simply a different evolution of terms.

Every nation on Earth plays football, some better than others. The most popular club football leagues are found in Europe, where you can enjoy hundreds of pussy Europeans flopping and flailing and crying on the ground, only to get up ten seconds later, completely unharmed and unfazed, after they've made sure they have gotten the call from the ref.

Despite all the bickering about terminology, pussy players, and European retardation, football is a simple, fun game that can be enjoyed by everyone.
European football (especially Italian) in a nutshell:
-Player 1 takes the ball downfield after taking possession from Opponent 1
-Opponent 2 slightly brushes the leg of Player 1
-Player 1 yells, clutches face, falls to ground, writhes in agony, still clutching face, apparently unaware that their leg was touched and not their face
-Referee blows whistle, cards Opponent 2, awards free kick to Player 1
-Player 1 immediately gets up and acts like nothing has happened
by deaneden August 10, 2009

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