Perhaps the most mentally and physically demanding game out there. Tons of Strategy, Strength and Speed all in one game. Not to be confused with Soccer (Where Upper Body Strength is not required) or Rugby (In which any dumbass can be succesfull)

Players in football are required to memorize 100s of different plays, formations, and rules. Players have been known to lift 400-600 pounds (Incase you don't know that is A LOT) and have been known to run a 4.13 in the 40 (Which is EXTREMELY Fast) with a vertical jump of "43 (Which is AMAZINGLY impressive)
A Day in the Life of a Football Player:

"You're an offensive lineman and it's late in the game.

You're mentally tired. Sweat, snot and spit drips off your face as you look down to see your hand still shaking from when you crushed it in the first quarter. There is probably some nerve damage. Your knees ache, your back hurts so bad it's hard to stand up straight. You wince and feel a burning sensation. Your vision is blurred due to a cut on your forehead from your last collision with some alcoholic 6'5" 320lb War-Daddy running a 4.8, benching 500, and cleaning 401 at 17% body fat who has an outstanding warrant for his arrest, beats his girlfriend regularly and just insulted your mom with words you couldn't understand. His only instructions were to "Get to the ball, and be in a bad mood when you get there!!"

Now that just happened two plays ago and when you lined up for the next play you were still dizzy from what could probably be diagnosed as a minor concussion. But this is football and anything with "minor" attached to it just doesn't count. Now in the outside world you would probably miss a week of work and file some insurance claim, but here in your world you've got to suck it up for the next play. You're dizzy, can't get your balance, you barely hear the play, can't see, can't really hear the quarterback because of the 80,000 screaming fans, and then before you know it your man sacks the quarterback, takes off his helmet calls you a bitch while doing a dance.

Now the coach calls a timeout and you run over to the sidelines as your teammates yell "Come on! Get it together man!" The fans boo you relentlessly because they didn't drive 3hrs on a Saturday to see you blow the game because of a little headache. You barely make it over to the sideline because you're still dizzy and here comes your "motivational" speech from some wide-eyed 5'8" 280 lb redneck with a wad of chew in his mouth. "What in the heeelllll was that?! Get your ass down, your hands up and punch his @#$!. Didn't you hear the `River call?! They were in a 50 package with a weak side blitz. You know you've got to slide right you big dumb @#$!*! You made a commitment to this team!! Where is your pride son?!! People are counting on you! On YOU!! How can you call yourself an athlete and take that abuse in front of all these people and millions at home? God-bless son, what do your parents think? Get your head in the game!! If you don't want to play, hell, I got three freshman over there that will play for your fat ass!! I'll suit up someone from the stands before I watch you do that crap again!! I'd rather have my little sister out there giving 100% than watch you half-ass it out there because you're tired and you don't want to give the effort. Now get out there and do your job boy!"

So now you get in the huddle and here comes the quarterback with the call: "Larry Left, 90 XY out on Two, on Two. Ready ....BREAK!!

So here's what goes through your head: "90...90....What is 90? That's a 7 step drop. He needs lots of time. Damn my hand hurts! Larry Left. OK, I've got the tight-end on my side so the 7 technique will be wide. The Mike is right and I'm uncovered, so I've got the Sam to the end to the Corner. Easy. Oh crap, they eagled down and War-Daddy is lined up with me, and I don't have help because the other guard has a two technique and the center is uncovered and he has to slide. Better go from a two point stance, this guy is quick."

"Ready set, Black 280.....Black 280....Hut!! Hut!!.

He engages. You get a good punch. He counters with an inside rip. You open your hip, lock out your right hand and smash his @#$!* into the ground and kick him for emphasis. You look up and the Mike came on a delayed blitz and the center got tangled up with the two technique so it's between you and the Mike, between you and the quarterback getting the ball to the open receiver, between you and victory. You lunge, get a piece of his knee with your already smashed hand. You probably just broke it. It's not pretty, but you get enough of him. The ball is released and . . . Touchdown!!

After the win you sit in a pool of blood, dirt, sweat, snot, and someone else's blood. You smell like you slept in a garbage can. You sit there with 2 ice packs on each shoulder and an ice pack on your neck and one on your hand which is still throbbing. You have to get a trainer to cut the inches of tape and equipment and special padding you use to get your body ready for the game because you are simply too tired to move. As he works the tape off you vaguely hear him talking about how great the game was and how you're the man. He asks what you're doing after the game. You mumble, "I'm not sure, thanks man", and hobble off the table. The shower feels good but it stings like hell because of all the open cuts. You use shampoo instead of soap because it's easier to lather up. After a game it is so hard to do even the most minute things. You've just given 100%. People usually never push their body that far."
by CAperas September 10, 2006

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A £ multi-billion industry based around 20 overpaid tribal heroes kicking a ball around, as in the grounds thousands of semi-evolved, illiterate grunting beasts attempt to kick the living shit out of eachother.

These Mongo Retardopithicus footballii are tribal creatures, easily regognised by their sloping forheads, prominant brow-ridges, shaven heads, vulgar and garish gold sovereign rings and the finest chunky gold chains that Argos can supply as well as their tribal war-paint.

They are a primitive people, who worship the Sun (especially page 3 ). Most are incapable of using words of over 2 sylables ( foot-ball, mon-go, rooo-knee, ga-zza, lar-gah, be'-kham ) the only exception being their legendary spiritual home, the mythical Ing-Gerr-Laaaand. Each tribe slavishly worshipping a tribal god-icon and it's associated 12 warrior- heroes,or 'Teeems. Usually, these tribes are blood enemies ( Chel-see tribe strong, kill Ars-nal tribe, ug! ) , fighting vicious battles over the ritualised tribal war carried out by the Teeems These battles invariably end up in local human population centres being damaged ( 'Mongo's Teeem is lose, Mongo smash up town, ug!' or, conversely 'Mongo's Teeem is win, Mongo smash up town, ug!' )
Every 4 years however, the tribes of Ing Gerr-Laaaand come together for a month-long frenzy of obsessive stupidity.
Thanks the goddess it only happens every 4 years.
At the mention of the sacred word 'football' the assembled primitives began to hoot and beat their chests excitedly, this soon resulted in the entire town centre being destroyed.
by Kynth November 30, 2011

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Football means different things in different places. In the United States of America, it refers to American Football, which involves 11 padded players (the offense) attempting to bring an oblong ball into the oppenents endzone, whereas the other 11 players (the defense) try to stop this from happening while trying to cause a turnover (interception, recovered fumble) or make the offense go 3 and out; as 4 downs are given to the offense to advance 10 yards. If they do so, they are given 4 fresh downs. To see more, search American Football or click on the link provided.

Football elsewhere refers to what I and other Americans know as soccer; which involves 11 players on each team attempting to kick a checkered sphere into the opponents goal. Hands can only be used by the goalie, who can not leave the rectangle in front of their goal; other players must move the ball by kicking it or heading it. See other definitions on this page or search soccer for further explanation.

I love to play American Football, whether it is casually with friends or competitively with my school team. I however do not like competitive soccer, though I do like playing casually with friends. It is a matter of prefence, and will everyone stop bickering about which one is better? It is opinion, nothing else.
Fan: Football kicks soccer's f&*%ing ass! Soccer eats hairy balls.

Fan: Football kicks American football's f#$%ing ass! American football eats hairy balls.

Reasonable Person: Oh shut up, both of you idiots. They're both good sports.
by soccer, football, whatever April 14, 2010

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Nuclear retardation diesease where foot grows out of testi satchel
My uncle went to chernobyl and came back with a bad case of foot ball.
by General Asswipe July 06, 2006

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Football is the best sport in the history of man, not including wizarding sports like Quidditch. For U.S.A users, it's soccer. You kick a ball into a net, and shout and scream for the rest of the match because you scored.
Guy 1: Hey, I scored a goal in football today!
Guy 2: Well, I scored ten goals in my football match!
by old handle July 04, 2014

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The sport originated in England in which you use your feet to kick a ball into a goal. This sport has nothing in common with American Football (see handegg.) It is the most played and watched sport in the world, but that is denied by some Americans who insist that baseball is indeed the world's game.
Wow, what a goal by Arsenal FC. Great football.
by ArsenalTilIDie November 22, 2010

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the best sport of all time and im talking about american football not that soccer crap
NFL is football
by thatAMERICAN May 22, 2015

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A sport played mostly by egotistic assholes.
Man look at how buff I am because of football.
by Carl_Doee May 25, 2013

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