Perhaps the most mentally and physically demanding game out there. Tons of Strategy, Strength and Speed all in one game. Not to be confused with Soccer (Where Upper Body Strength is not required) or Rugby (In which any dumbass can be succesfull)

Players in football are required to memorize 100s of different plays, formations, and rules. Players have been known to lift 400-600 pounds (Incase you don't know that is A LOT) and have been known to run a 4.13 in the 40 (Which is EXTREMELY Fast) with a vertical jump of "43 (Which is AMAZINGLY impressive)
A Day in the Life of a Football Player:

"You're an offensive lineman and it's late in the game.

You're mentally tired. Sweat, snot and spit drips off your face as you look down to see your hand still shaking from when you crushed it in the first quarter. There is probably some nerve damage. Your knees ache, your back hurts so bad it's hard to stand up straight. You wince and feel a burning sensation. Your vision is blurred due to a cut on your forehead from your last collision with some alcoholic 6'5" 320lb War-Daddy running a 4.8, benching 500, and cleaning 401 at 17% body fat who has an outstanding warrant for his arrest, beats his girlfriend regularly and just insulted your mom with words you couldn't understand. His only instructions were to "Get to the ball, and be in a bad mood when you get there!!"

Now that just happened two plays ago and when you lined up for the next play you were still dizzy from what could probably be diagnosed as a minor concussion. But this is football and anything with "minor" attached to it just doesn't count. Now in the outside world you would probably miss a week of work and file some insurance claim, but here in your world you've got to suck it up for the next play. You're dizzy, can't get your balance, you barely hear the play, can't see, can't really hear the quarterback because of the 80,000 screaming fans, and then before you know it your man sacks the quarterback, takes off his helmet calls you a bitch while doing a dance.

Now the coach calls a timeout and you run over to the sidelines as your teammates yell "Come on! Get it together man!" The fans boo you relentlessly because they didn't drive 3hrs on a Saturday to see you blow the game because of a little headache. You barely make it over to the sideline because you're still dizzy and here comes your "motivational" speech from some wide-eyed 5'8" 280 lb redneck with a wad of chew in his mouth. "What in the heeelllll was that?! Get your ass down, your hands up and punch his @#$!. Didn't you hear the `River call?! They were in a 50 package with a weak side blitz. You know you've got to slide right you big dumb @#$!*! You made a commitment to this team!! Where is your pride son?!! People are counting on you! On YOU!! How can you call yourself an athlete and take that abuse in front of all these people and millions at home? God-bless son, what do your parents think? Get your head in the game!! If you don't want to play, hell, I got three freshman over there that will play for your fat ass!! I'll suit up someone from the stands before I watch you do that crap again!! I'd rather have my little sister out there giving 100% than watch you half-ass it out there because you're tired and you don't want to give the effort. Now get out there and do your job boy!"

So now you get in the huddle and here comes the quarterback with the call: "Larry Left, 90 XY out on Two, on Two. Ready ....BREAK!!

So here's what goes through your head: "90...90....What is 90? That's a 7 step drop. He needs lots of time. Damn my hand hurts! Larry Left. OK, I've got the tight-end on my side so the 7 technique will be wide. The Mike is right and I'm uncovered, so I've got the Sam to the end to the Corner. Easy. Oh crap, they eagled down and War-Daddy is lined up with me, and I don't have help because the other guard has a two technique and the center is uncovered and he has to slide. Better go from a two point stance, this guy is quick."

"Ready set, Black 280.....Black 280....Hut!! Hut!!.

He engages. You get a good punch. He counters with an inside rip. You open your hip, lock out your right hand and smash his @#$!* into the ground and kick him for emphasis. You look up and the Mike came on a delayed blitz and the center got tangled up with the two technique so it's between you and the Mike, between you and the quarterback getting the ball to the open receiver, between you and victory. You lunge, get a piece of his knee with your already smashed hand. You probably just broke it. It's not pretty, but you get enough of him. The ball is released and . . . Touchdown!!

After the win you sit in a pool of blood, dirt, sweat, snot, and someone else's blood. You smell like you slept in a garbage can. You sit there with 2 ice packs on each shoulder and an ice pack on your neck and one on your hand which is still throbbing. You have to get a trainer to cut the inches of tape and equipment and special padding you use to get your body ready for the game because you are simply too tired to move. As he works the tape off you vaguely hear him talking about how great the game was and how you're the man. He asks what you're doing after the game. You mumble, "I'm not sure, thanks man", and hobble off the table. The shower feels good but it stings like hell because of all the open cuts. You use shampoo instead of soap because it's easier to lather up. After a game it is so hard to do even the most minute things. You've just given 100%. People usually never push their body that far."
by CAperas September 10, 2006
a bunch of men scampering after the one with the brown clutch that doesn't even match their shoes
Did you catch the football?

Well, of course didn't you see everyone butt humping me??
by Ullneverknow January 03, 2008
the best game on earth. what a lot of us live for.
the only game you can crush someone and not get in trouble, football.
by football lover June 12, 2007
1. Greatest sport in the history of the human race next to running while having sex with the opposite sex. Involves two teams moving a ball comprised of pig skin down a field to an endzone to score points.
2. Not soccer.

3. Sport at which most other countries outside the United States can't play because they lack a great extent of physical talent. In turn said countries try to claim their inferior sport, which goes by the same name as the USA's, is as good if not better yet consists of a field with a bunch of dorks standing around kicking a ball back and forth for hours. Fans must resort to drinking and using drugs for stimuli since boredom usually ensues after the first 2 minutes of play.
Guy 1: Hey mate let's go to the pub before the football game!
Guy 2: Excellent idea 'ol chap! Let me grab my manpurse before well tally'o down and catch the carriage.
Guy 1: Right'o! I want to make sure I'd good and sauced before the game otherwise I might realize the sport I'm watching is boring as hell.
Guy 2: Brilliant!
by Straightablebodiedwhitemale October 12, 2010
The reason why American Football is called American Football is because it is mainly played in AMERICA. "Oh yeha, I'ma brit and american football is so ghey" Well guess what, YOUR COUNTRY DOSN'T EVEN PLAY IT, SO HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU JUDGE IT!? How many Americans do you see going to the cricket page and talking about how much they hate it? Hardly any, because we really don't watch or play cricket in america. How many americans go on the Rugby page and talk about how much they hate that? Again, hardly any although all those Ignorant europeans just seem to love to talk about how Football isn't as "hard" as Rugby. You know what? I've never seen a Rugby game, played it, or hardly know much about it, so I'm not going to spout of about how much I hate it like all the other ignorant europeans. You guys seriesly need to just 1.) Fuck off and start obsessing over you soccer, rugby, cricket shit rather than going on to Urban Dictionary so you can talk about how much you hate a sport your country does not even play or 2.) Actually watch/play/learn the damn game before you fucking judge!
Ignorant Person: American Football is full of fat people

American: Not True. Football players have been know to be able to lift over 300 lb. repeatidly, all that is muscle

Ignorant Person: Football contains no strategy

American: Not True, Football is the most strategic game on earth which is the reason dumbass Jocks never make it to the NFL

Ignorant Person: Soccer is the best sport because it's the most popular

American: Not true, Soccer is the most popular sport because any third-world country can play it becuase it only requires a ball and a net

Ignorant Person: Football is for pussys, Rugby Rules

American: Not True, although I have not seen a rugby game before, I know for a fact that football is harder becuase 1. Football is the most strategic game ever 2. The Injury Rate is higher in football than in Rugby and 3. The Most Common injury in football is concussions, while the most commen injury in Rugby are scratches...

Ignorant Person: Football is a gay name for a game that you catch balls with you hands

American: Not True, early football (Which was a LOT like rugby) Players only ran with their feet. In an attempt to make the game more exciting, they incorperated passing the ball. While I do admit that calling it football is stupid nowadays, what else would you call it, throwball? Runball? Crossbarball? Hitball? All those names suck.

Ignorant Person: Football is basterdized rugby

American: Not True, The games are VERY different from what I heard. Like in football you can pass the ball, in Rugby (I don't belive) you can't forword pass

Ignorant Person: Soccer pwns Americna Football

American: Soccer is far to flawed a system for it to be legitimitly compared to any other sport. The fact that this game contains no overtime, flawed whole points system, goal differentials and the sheer tedium of the sport makes it hands down the worst sport I ever saw. But that's just me.

Ignorant Person: Players are to stupid to know how to attack AND Defend

American: If I were to put offensive players in defence football would be a worthless sport to watch. It would consist of NO defence since players of defence are 10x as strong than players on offence (Excluding O-Linemen) It'd basicly be a game of pitch and catch, it'd be stupid and boring

So there you go, anseres to all your ignorant questions you europeans...
by Killer Kobe September 08, 2006
For anyone that calls AMERICAN Football "Gay" or "Slow" just look at this video: www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ta3Gi_AFTQg Football is a game of strategy, strength, and speed. Soccer is a game of who can run all over a field without passing out.
Football is the best game in the world
by Geeter August 23, 2006
A game where men play with a ball and wrap their arms around each other too take them down to the ground. Usually after every play the main player gets a smack on the ass by another player, both whom are male, while other male fans cheer them on.
Guy 1: Hey did you watch the football game?

Guy 2: yea

Guy 1: What happened?

Guy 2: The running back scored a touchdown and the other his teamates hugged him and smacked him on the ass.

Guy 1: That sounds pretty gay.
by guitargod January 03, 2008
A brutal game. It's not about skill, it's about who wants it more. Football is a rough, intense, and vicious sport. Most people can't take it, but if you do, you'll be a chickmagnet. Sorry soccer players.
Girl 1 - Do you like Jack?
Girl 2 - No! He's a wimpy soccer player. I like real men who play football, like Mike.
by Lilliam December 29, 2007

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