English Football Hooligans' kit:

Chest: England sports shirt OR bare beer belly

Legs: Blue Jeans, or optionally tracksuits for the thinner hooligan

Left Hand: Brick. Preferably, attached to a string so you can throw it through a shop window and get it back without much fuss.

Right Hand: Either a half-full bottle of Carlsberg or a broken bottle of Carlsberg.

Fingers: Fake gold jewellery.

Head: Skinhead

Face: Temporary facepaint of Saint George's Cross

Feet: Reebok Classics

Pocket: Mobile phone to call other football hooligans to arrange fights

Mouth: Foul language

Cranium: A lonely brain cell

People in a *firm*

wear expensive clothes that appear to be casual and really cheap

Regularly meet other football hooligans for fights before/after a match while pissed out of their face