| 1. | Craftsman | ||
|
A maker of tools. To call someone a Craftsman is equal to calling them a terrible parent. Neighbor: I heard your son didn't vote yesterday. You're quite the Craftsman.
Parent: Yeah, I conceived a Tool. |
|||
| 2. | possom playhouse | ||
|
One of the unique behaviours of possoms is when they are afraid of a preditor they go into a self induced state appearing like they are dead. When I was a child my brother and I used this word as a code word meaning pretend to be sleeping when our parents whould come to check on us at night. This word has been passed down to my children and grandchildren over the years Ted and Zelda are playing cards under the bed with a flshlight. Zelda calls out to her brother "Quick get into bed Dad is coming... possom playhouse"
|
|||
| 3. | Marilyn Manson | ||
|
A very popular music artist who represents why American music and American youth are simultaneously going down the wrong path. No, I am not a religious fanatic. No, I am not an old man. I believe Marilyn Manson is a punk and a fool for 3 reasons. 1) His appearance 2) His music 3) His anti-establishment views. Well regarding #1, he wears a corset during concerts, he wears grotesque makeup, and he looks like the most uncivil character you'll ever meet in your life. Regarding #2, may I first say that his music is an absolute horrific compilation of shit that represents most modern death metal bands. Even if he has no connection with the occult, his lyrics are borderline satanic. His fans say that his lyrics are very poetic, which might be true, but this is not the type of poetry that represents good American values. This leads me to #3. The main reason I believe he is anti-establishment, is because he basically defiles every Judeo-Christian moral ever conceived. The problem with Marilyn Manson is that he is the type of person that no parent would ever be fond of. The reason so many people believe Manson influenced the Columbine shooters was because of the image he creates of himself. If he would change his image, then there would not be so many death threats against him. Jesus, what a punk. Good American- "Marilyn Manson is a no good fool who is setting a bad image for our youth."
Naive Youth- "What are you talking about, he is awesome." Good American- "You kids will never learn." |
|||
| 4. | im just tired | ||
|
This is THE answer if someone accuses you of being high or drunk. generally used when one's eye's are a bit of a give-away, or when one is on the nods. I believe the unspoken strategy of people using this excuse is that if enough addicts us it while showing symptoms similar to drowsiness, they'll fool everyone.
Wether or not this excuse works, depends on the experience of the accuser with addicts, drunks, etc. This probably won't work with a cop. It may work with a shelter worker, depending on how naive they are. It probably will work on your parents, providing it's late, and they're chumps. cop: "So, have you been using tonight?"
addict:"No sir, I'm just tired is all...l" cop:"hand's behind your back." shelter worker #1 (me): "Your fucked up go to detox. Stop nodding off in my lobby." addict: "I'm just tired, is all..." shelter worker #1 (me):"get up, get out! get up, get out!" shelter worker #2: "Umm, excuse me sir, I think you might be under the influence of some sort of drug, are you 'high' sir? because if you are, i'd have to ask you to leave..." addict: "I'm just tired, is all..." shelter worker #2: "Oh, I'm terribly sorry sir, let's get you to bed right away... oh, you'd like to use the washroom for 20 mineuts? of course, go right ahead." addict: "mwehh... thank yuhhhhh.. *underbreath* chump..." parent "little johnny, are you on the 'dope' right now? you can tell me, i'm your friend..." little addict johnny: "No! I'm just tired! Gosh, why dont you let me be!" parent: "I'm sorry snookems." |
|||
| 5. | rebellious teenager | ||
|
Youth rebellion is considered to be committed by those who lack 'maturity' although it is certainly not so, and is actually a natural response to perceived oppression. Parent- "You must obey and be a subordinate simply because you happened to have been born later than I have."
Teen- "Your regulations are unjust. Only a fool would abide by them and therefore I refuse to conform to your regulations that are poorly conceived and irrational." Parent- "WHAT DID YOU SAY?! You're grounded for a month, young lady! How DARE you question my authority over you! You ungrateful rebellious teenager!" Teen- "You're not grounding me! I am too intelligent to remain in this position. I did not choose to be born, and my life is my own, no matter the circumstances. I will not allow you to impede my enjoyment obtained from life, and therefore I must rebel against you. YOUTH SHALL GAIN EMPOWERMENT!!! RESIST THE OPPRESSION!!!" |
|||
| 6. | akata | ||
|
**Previous definitions are more biased/personal, not really universal**
** Accurate Defeinition: Nigerian term (now expanding outside) used to describe Black Americans; Originally insulting (now becoming neutral), name given to black Americans/Nigerians who lack education, lack culture, are ignorant, dress too revealing or are "wayward"; Nigerian term that's similar to "Nigger". Sometimes used jokingly amongst Nigerians. Parent: So you want to be an "Akata" and not go to school and have babies before you marry. Chyyy.... u are a DISGRACE!!!!
Girl: Look at you showing off all your "humps", dressin as if you have no respect.... AKATA!! Boy: LOOK AT U! What is this rubbish english (LOL) u are speaking? Speaking as if u are an Akata! Parent: Don't marry that Akata. He will cheat on you and make u forget about your people. Look at him.... wearing gold in his teeth while playing all that "jagga jagga" music in his motto... typical akata. |
|||
| 7. | rand corporation | ||
|
The RAND Corporation is a nonprofit global policy think tank formed to offer research and analysis to the United States armed forces. The RAND Corporation is often associated with militarism and the military-industrial complex. They have expanded their operations to include forcing our parent to bed early to get rid of dinner, and tattooing bar codes on the back of our heads. Milhouse:The Rand Corporation, in conjunction with the saucer people.
Bart: Thank You! Milhouse: Under the supervision of the reverse vampires, are forcing our parents to go to bed early, in a fiendish plot to eliminate the meal of dinner. We're through the looking glass here, people. (Grandpa Vs Sexual Inadequacy, 2F07) Hank: I got a tattoo on the back of my head! Dale: What kind of tattoo? Like a bar code? Because that would point to the Rand Corporation. (Be true to your fool, Epis 145) |
|||
