name for a paranoid little bitch who gets apples smashed on his head, sugar dumped in his hair, apples thrashed into his lock and locker, apples bombed at his head, pizza thrown at him, tea bags dumped in his hair, and other various forms of harassment and violence done to him throughout the school day and year. then after it happens, does not do anything to defend himself, but just says "are you serious?" and sometimes walks to the school bathroom in embarassment. then, when the time is right, likes to go into bitch mode and tell on those who jacked him up. there is currently a study going on over whether or not this species has a penis or a vagina, but most claim he may have both because they have heard him complain of sand in his vagina but also know the story of when he jizzed on his bathroom floor and his mother stepped in it.
biggest fears: apples, sugar, tea bags, russ, dan, tony, willy
favorite places: bathroom, library
favorite activities: jacking off on the floor and not cleaning up after himself, attempting to play baseball and drums (though he blows dick at both), sexual activities with teachers
best friends: all of school faculty
a filosofos jacked off in his bathroom on the floor, forgot to clean it up, went to answer the door for the pizza man, while he did this, his mom walks into the bathroom, steps in his jizz, it soaks into her feet, then she realizes wat she has stepped in and exclaims "i cant believe this, clean up after yourself!"