Top Definition
incredulous fear of being outside often accompanied by unmanly desire to play murder simulators every possible waking moment not spent eating, sleeping, or working/schooling.
Bob: let's go play ice hockey with them
Steve: I can't I have to level
Bob: but there's only two hours of light left
Steve: I need to keep my solid ratio
Bob: your fearjohn is fucking up your life. you don't seem interested in girls anymore either. get help

While most teens are playing sports, hanging out in person, or jerking those afflicted with fearjohn have no time for these.
by vogla January 23, 2013

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