Faffometer 

A device or means for measuring the amount of time spent faffing around (as I am doing when writing this entry) as against doing constructive work.
E.g. an excel spreadsheet in which you enter the times when you start faffing and when you start on real production work.

or a stopwatch that you start / stop accordingly.

My productivity has dropped dramatically in the last few weeks, so I'll have to install a faffometer.

Faffometer by Ger_-ger October 26, 2009

fathometh 

It is used as a way to express extreme surprise at a fact. Derived from the word "fathom" which simply means "to understand". Fathometh is used to mean "You understand?" or "Riiiight?" but in old English (or King James English).

Sarah: I can't believe Amy went back to her ex.
Jackie: Fathometh?

fathometh by Robin Ruth October 12, 2021

fatometer 

Taken from the latin word 'meter' which means to measure, and the English word 'fat' meaning that jiggly cottage cheese bag around your gut and ass this word describes any kid of scale fat people use.

Alright chunky, get on the fatometer and make sure all of your sagging ankles make it on this time.

fatometer by Ted April 18, 2005