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281. The Dennis
An intense office plague that spreads rapidly to co-workers in spite of little to no contact with Dennis. Some people may not even be within the vicinity of the department or state and yet still be stricken by this mysterious virus. The virus is known to last over two weeks and sometimes over a month. It has similar symptoms to the common cold or flu with exceptionally increased mucus production, extreme sore throat and urge to cough. You would probably get rid of herpes before the Dennis.
I don't know how he did it, considering I haven't seen him in 2 weeks, but I'm pretty sure I have the Dennis, and I'm losing my will to live.

I think I contracted the "Dennis" again.
282. Ganga-Lingam
Literally 'Ganges Penis', this is a formal Dravidian term denoting:
1. An Indo-Aryan Penis or North Indian Penis, clinically proven to measure well below the mean Dravidian Penis or South Indian Penis.
2. By extension, any small penis in general.
3. A common nick-name & sur-name applied to, & adopted by, underendowed men in South India, where appellations are extremely candid about the owner's genitalia.
The term is based on the small size of the 'Ganges Worm', which is a result of the Caucasoid descent of Indo-Aryans & the evolutionary contraction of vascularised heat-dissipating organs in cold climates as per Allen's Rule.
This feature is not just of prurient interest, however, & is of significant scientific value. For it is the best anthropological proof that the South Indian Brahmin is primarily a Caucasoid Indo-Aryan & not a white washed Dravidoid. Furthermore, it also accounts for the disdain of Dali...
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283. Slizzard
A sluttly lizard or a very tan almost scaley woman that enjoys sexual acts with all things. Slizzards craw through the bar scene at night or shopping centers during the day. They lie in tanning beds to gather their strength and darken their protective skin-like layer. Slizzards have extremely slow digestion and sometimes will only eat once a week. There diet tends to consist of lettuce and bodily secretions. Slizzards rarely have any personality and tend to be extremely cold-blooded. They tend to congregated together, but cannibalism is common with-in their groups. They like to get intoxicated and then perform acts of extreme perversion with all objects and peoples. Getting slizzarded is just the act of becoming so intoxicated that one begins to replicate the actions of one of these creatures. They are known to carry a myriad of contagious diseases including but not limited to: herpes, gonorrhea, and syphilis. Slizzards tend to be extremely dangerous to men who have not ejaculated recently and should be handled with extreme caution.
Concerned Child - "Mom has been laying by the pool and making eyes at the pool boy, Enrique, also she's already had 7 margaritas. I'm worried she may be getting slizzarded."

Concerned Fraternity Bro - "Hey, I'm worried about Mark, have you seen that thing he's been with lately. It has no personality, doesn't eat, and lays in a tanning bed all day. We never see him at night anymore. I think he may be dating a Slizzard!"

Gay Uncle Tony - "Greg has been acting strange lately. I saw him just the other day with a group of scaley tan women and they kept touching him. I am worried that they're slizzards and they're doing things to him against his will."
284. Sigurd
Sigurd is a common name for cold-blooded newbies with a extreme lack of tan. Sigurd is also used as a slang for bad hammerdins in diablo 2
"Got free soj?" "Need free" "Free please!""

"What a sigurd.."
285. Rusty Roof, Damp Cellar
A Rusty Roof, Damp Cellar refers to a girl with red hair.

If a house has a rusty roof, it is common for the cellar to be wet or damp. In extreme cases the cellar can be flooded, or if the damp course has been affected, Mildew can be found. Hence, if a girl has a head of red hair, it is assumed that her genitalia will be marginally moist at the least.

To summarise, the following phrases mean that someone has seen a girl / woman (usually that they find attractive)

Rusty roof, damp cellar,

Rusty roof, flooded cellar,

Rusty roof, mildew cellar.

damp - attractive
flooded - stunning
mildew - just a stone cold hottie.
Hey John, you see that girl over there?

yeah? the cute one with the rusty roof, damp cellar?

uh-huh, i reckon mildew cellar for sure, the damp course is totally shagged - thats got my name written all over it!
286. EDL (Erectile Dysfunction Louts)
This condition can be mainly found in white English males aged 16 to 50. (Some rare occasions this can be found in other countries, races and even found in females)

Symptoms include :-

Irrational thinking, paranoia,brought on by the use of Cocaine available from all RO's or from the EDL leader Tommy Robinson AKA Stephen Yaxley Lennon, uncontrolled raising of one arm in the air, racist tourettes, consumption of large quantities of lager (Stella), uncontrollable bladder, misdirected anger, incoherent speech/text/post, homophobia, illiteracy, the belief they are defending the English language without the ability to use the English language properly, 17th century ideals, cold face (Remedied with a balaclava) and the inability to perform in the bedroom.

Extreme case symptoms :-

All of the above plus extreme violence and uncontrolled smashing of towns/cities/police and local people they claim to love the most.

If you present any of these symptoms, take immediate action. STOP reading The Sun, Daily Mail and The Daily Star. STOP watching Sky News, Fox News and CNN.

To reverse the symptoms get a good health dose of The Daily Show With Jon Stewart, Channel 4 News, reading a book (One without pictures), water, education, fibre, 5 kinds of fruit and veg a day, tolerance and understanding for your fellow man.
"That balaclava clad bloke must be suffering from EDL (Erectile Dysfunction Louts), we should try to help him with education and understanding to make him better"

"My town has been smashed up, the locals attacked and police are out in force. There must of been a sporadic out break of EDL (Erectile Dysfunction Louts). Thankfully only a small number of people have come down with it."
287. Homemade Yumm Bowl
When a woman wakes up sluggish after a long night of wine drinking and funky sex with her husband and is in need of a delicious, comforting meal. The need is compounded on on foggy, cold days. The wife takes all the ingredients in her refrigerator, mixes them together in a big bowl, gets naked in the kitchen and slathers the mixture all over her body, while eating it. If she is suffering from an *extreme* hangover, she inserts the Homemade Yumm Bowl concoction into her anus.
Damn! What a rough night! My head is pounding and I'm exhausted! Gotta get my Homemade Yumm Bowl on!
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