to cum onto yourself as a result of poor judgement or planning due to the extreme curvature of the situation.
an analogy to shoot yourself in the foot.
Named for an Israeli, David Etzion, fleeing prosecution in America but being arrested on landing for exposing himself to the minor next to him on the plane. Also, to reportedly have a severe case of Peyronie's disease, a severe curvature of the penis, which was later used to positively identify him in several POV style movies involving minors.
B: Man, what a fuck up.
Prosecution: The angle of the dangle of David's penis was so great that he jizzed upon himself. Is that correct?
Witness: Yes, minute 4:34 is where David etzion'ed himself in the chest but doesn't even bother to wipe.