In the educational system, an essay is a long informational paper that is supposed to be 3 or more pages long with an introduction, at least 3 "detailed" body paragraphs with "source citations" up the wazoo, a conclusion, AND a bibliography with at least (insert large number here) "reliable" sources (NOT Wikipedia). Oh, and did I mention that some of these sources need to be from books & magazines that we always need to run to the library for, too? The topics for these wretched pieces of work are almost always going to be out of your control, so prepare to write about absolute bull. Research for these papers require hours of web surfing and/or book searching, since you need both a "reliable" source and a source in which you can extract a considerable amount of info from. So don't be surprised if you find yourself venturing beyond page 2 of the Google results. In addition to the pain you must endure from just finding useful info in a sea of crap, you must also cite almost EVERYTHING using MLA Format, putting the icing on the cake of frustration. If you don't, your whole essay will be a complete waste (see plagiarism).If you are in high school or college, you also have to write a lengthy evaluation of the sources themselves in your bibliography (a.k.a. "Annotated Bibliography"), which means even MORE running around. Once that cluster of bull is dealt with, the average academic essay is done, and the hell-bent burden of essay writing is lifted. . . for now.
Man, I feel like I just wrote an essay about essays on UD, lengthy words and everything. I gotta lay down. . .

*1 week later*

Aw crap, now I got a legit essay to write. Welcome back to hell.
by BCB5 December 01, 2012
An assigment given by Teachers who think that kids don't

"have" enough homework. They expect it with "AT LEAST" 8 sources, and "AT LEAST" many MLA Citations. They make it worth like 100 points, make you WRITE it when you HAVE OTHER homework. It can range from a simple topic on Compare & Contrast to a fucking book report when you don't understand the book. And THEY WANT TO CONVICE THE FUCKING READER TO GET INTO THE ESSAY! not many people read students writing anyway.
Only students with a PhD from Stanford with a 4.0 GPA deserve to do essays. Its not important.

Student: OMG! Mrs. Hillenbig assigned us a God Motherfucking Nigger Essay with AT LEAST 1000 WORDS! Is she out of her mind? We are only 8th Graders.
by partyrockstar222 September 29, 2011
A person who takes forever in describing something, a story, directions, etc. when it could've been easily understood in two sentences.
Girl: Hey, hows your day been going?
Boy: Oh, its been okay. When I woke up, I didn't have any toothpaste so I had to open a new tube and then I realized I didn't like that flavor so I went into my parents room and borrowed theirs and then my dad started yelling at me for making him late and....
Girl: Woah now, take it easy there essay.
by auuuudddddd. August 13, 2009
plural of ese. purnounced:; essays
you see a home boy you say whats up ese.
you see a lots of home boyz you say whats up essays
by blake killer January 08, 2009
Not to be confused with writing a essay! This is what Cholos (Aka Mexicans) call their homies when chilling on the corner, pants hanging on for dear life, with a gaudy belt usually blue or the Mexican flag. Or when a Cholo is about to shank,shoot,or let his rabid dog out to tear your ass up.
Example 1: Ayo Essay have you seen Julio he owes me some money that's way past due!

Example 2: Ayo Essay! I know you better back up off my girl before I have to let Chico come out here and chew your @$$ up! I'm not kidding Essay I got twenty Cholos just waiting for some $hit to pop off!

by brokeback_ August 16, 2012
An extremely long text, Facebook message, or email, usually sent during periods of heightened emotion, particularly anger, frustration or inebriation.

They usually go into immense detail and talk about feelings.
"You can tell Alex is pissed when he starts sending out the essay texts"

"brb, got a massive essay message to reply to"
by chimpskylark April 25, 2012
an extremely long email message, usually used to explain a serious situation
"Has she apologised yet?".
"Yes, she sent me an e-ssay explaining herself"
by Andy Wilson June 11, 2005

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