look up any word, like blumpkin:
 
8.
An impossibly difficult written task set by extremely evil, cruel, and nasty teachers (or teachers' bosses - some teachers don't like essays either!) to do for homework,usually due for a week after they are set.
Essays are possibly the worst torture ever due to their immense difficulty to accomplish for a certain young goldfish who may or may not be writing this definition when they are supposed to be doing their Citizenship essay on bullying that is already 15 days overdue!

and I can't do it! Help me!!!!! :-(
by Goldfish United! February 26, 2009
 
1.
useless work used to torture billions of kids in this world
Jimmy had to do his long essay instead of playing outside with his friends.
by kaly January 02, 2004
 
2.
How a moron spells ese.
An essay is something you write for school, not a Mexican.
by WAGMIRE October 14, 2005
 
3.
a waste of time that MLA and APA supporters believe is not colossal enough in its time-wasting ability. used by professors whose sole dream it is to stop students from slacking off for the weekend. goes well with coffee.
I can't believe Mr. Smith just gave us that huge fucking essay! He's out of his mind.

Jimmy, you can't go to the senior prom until you finish writing that essay.
by B-e-n February 12, 2006
 
4.
what you are probably avoiding doing by being on this website in the first place
essay? nah. ummm, lets seeee... Urban dictionary!
by curly dude January 23, 2011
 
5.
1. A composition that is usually a few pages long.
2. Something that evil English teachers assign too many of.
I have to write another English essay today.
by 5'11"Racer December 19, 2006
 
6.
a long, written, assignment that could have been explained in two or three sentences.
billy said: "instead of writing an essay on the brain i wrote this, 'the brain in the nervous center of the body. without it we would not be able to do things like breathe. it works by sending electric impulses to the muscles in your body...the end'"

((of course he got a F+))
by chiunit May 13, 2009
 
7.
1. the bane of my existence
The only thing worse than an essay is being mauled by a bear.
by Queen Wannahackalugee October 20, 2008