A person who cries as he ejaculates and proceeds to drink the tears and semen. He once ran for class president but lost to a chalkboard eraser. At the age of 15 he discovered that his father is actually half a turkey and bacon sandwich. People have speculated as to EPJ's sexual orientation, with the top possible orientations being: the attraction to elder mountain goats, attracted to David Caruso's sunglasses or the attraction to Steve Buscemi's elbow crook. He once voted for Mikhail Gorbachev in American idol.
yeah that eric paul johnson, what a useless gaseous mass.