|1.||World War 2|
All action, all star sequel to the popular black comedy 'The Great war' (later retconned to 'World War one'). Hailed as a masterpeice by critics for it's combination of epic action, gritty realism, dark comedy, international espionage and feel good ending, although some have critised the overt nationalism and stereotypical lead villian (Adolf Hitler).It also provided a springboard for new international stars such as the U.S.A, the U.S.S.R as well as providing a fitting coda for some ageing stars such as the British and French Empires.more...
The story starts in 1939 and continues 20 years after the previous installment finished with a powerful new Germany (dubbed 'The Nazis' in this instalment) allying itself with a few like minded countries and invading Poland.
Although the good guys ( Britian and France) attempt to halt the Reich France quickly succumbs to the bad guy, the march on Paris being the most chilling early sequence in the tale, leaving the British Empire to stand alone against the evil of the Nazis, which by now emcompasses virtually all of Europe. Although later overshadowed by the appearence of the newcomers, The U.S.A and Russia (who would both go on to become major stars in their own right) Britains war against Germany provides some great thrills including The Battle of Britain, U-Boats in the North Atlantic and The Blitzkreig, which have led many critics to call Britians portrayl of a plucky little country standing up for itself as a career best, or...
A game developed to waste a humans life. A strategy is developed at first but when the player gets hold of certain items and spells, the game takes no skill to beat while the person persistently keeps upgrading the game for the game's sake.
Person 1: i played epic war 1-4 ! man it was awesome !
Person 2: oh did you go to work???
Person 1: uhhh no
Person 2: wow you really look like a dumbass doing the same thing over and over again right?
Epic Games is that game developer that made the now infamous game Gears of War 2, using what THEY believe to be the most powerful, advanced and flexible gaming engine to date. Epic Games is nothing more than a crack team of fuck ups that were so high on their own hype for Gears of War 2, they boasted about how it would be the most unique, graphically enhanced, and addictive game for the Xbox 360, both its campaign and multiplayer. Boy were they ever wrong. Yes, the graphics are good, but the engine Epic designed seemed to mess up everything else in multiplayer, producing laggy servers, ever increasing glitches and ever heightening egos. Epic takes it upon themselves to release half-assed updates that do nothing more than make the game ever more dreadful and idiotic to play. The lack of forsight and sheer skill of Epic Games has thus brought forth one of the more tedious and frustrating games to play on the Xbox 360.
Frank1The2Tank3:Hey Cel3stial get Gears of War 2 its soo hot...
Cel3stial: Ok, but I heard its made by the Epic Games fuck squad. But whatever if you say so.
Three Months Later...
Frank1The2Tank3: Wow gay I two pieced him.
Cel3stial: THis shit is wack. Epic Games can suck my cock.
Bighead2Large21: COLE TRAIN BABY!!
|4.||Gears Of War 2|
The equivalent to watching a puppy put into a meat grinder while somebody saws off your penis and or shoves a flaming dildo in your vagina. With its shitty game play, over powered host, many glitches, and inhabited by a swarm of fat 9 year olds who act tough over xbox to make up for their mediocre real lives, the player is guaranteed to feel strong urges of suicide or inflict massive amounts of self mutilation upon ones self.
Epic Games Intercom: Alright guys, so now that we've all joined the Nazi Alliance lets create a game that will rip America apart from the inside.... GEARS OF WAR 2
"After Game Release"
Gamer 1: omg im so happy for this game... (3 hrs later)... MY FUCKIN EYES OMFG AHHH!!!! must... end... it... "gun shot"
9 year old gamer: FuCk U NuBs!!! ChAiNsAw!!! I FuCkEd Ur MoM!!! I LoVe NaZi'S!!! GeT Me MoRe CuRLY FrIeS MoM!!!!
When you are in great need of a poo of epic proprtions. Said poo will be so destructive to the toilet that the carnage will be similar to that inflicted on the german town of dresden by allied bombers during world war 2. Therefore your bomb bay is full and you are 'approaching dresden.'
Guy 1: ''Why do you look so uncomfortable''
Guy 2: ''I'm busting for a crap. Seriously, it feels like I'm approaching dresden here.''
|6.||World War III|
From the makers of The Great War and World War 2 comes the highly anticipated sequel- World War 3! After 56 years of international peace, America finds herself in the middle an epic power struggle between Islamic Jihadists and Chinese invaders. Will America prevail and come out this conflict stronger than ever, or will she crumble in the midst of a nuclear holocaust? with special guest appearances by Russia, Great Britain, Israel, France, Iraq ,and Canada. coming to a bomb shelter near you!
World War III was scheduled for release in 1962, but will be postponed until 1984.
After the Soviet Union declared bankruptcy in 1991, many avid fans began to wonder if there will ever be a world war 3.
A World War 3 fan base club, Al-Qaeda, helps spark excitement in 2001 after their attacks on New York and DC. This help speculate rumors that World War III is the making.
Iran, North Korea, Russia, and China are all trying to co-direct World War III with the Americans in hopes of releasing it by 2012.
World III will feature Commies, Terrorists, Canadians, and over 20,000 weapons of mass destruction just itching to go off!
|7.||Gears of War 3|
The highly anticipated xbox 360 exclusive that was accidentally announced april 9th 2010 on the xbox dashboard. The announcement was soon deleted but it was to late before a screen shot was uploaded on the web. Gears 3 is planned to be released April of 2011 and is a sequel to gears of war 2 from 2008. I'm hoping that it will have an even better story mode from the improved first one to second one and have the awesome multiplayer like the first one mixed with the the elements that where good in the second one and awesome new things. Gears 3 is going to be awesome.
Guy: Did you know Gears of War 3 was announced?
Dude: What?! No, way!
Guy: Yea! Go checkout the Ashes to Ashes trailer.
Dude: Oh, shit. It looks really epic.
Guy: Yea, I know.