1: A bastardised and relatively young language that is incredibly versatile and also sounds better than any other language when put to music. One of the advantages of the versatility of English and its' relative youth is the ability to absorb the best parts of other languages whilst ignoring the silly bits. French people are jealous of the English language because although theirs' sounds much sexier when spoken, it has a million stupid rules which the rest of the world has no patience for.
2: People born within England (not Britain or UK). A mongrel tribe of excessively agressive people who, not content with slaughtering the indiginous peoples of the British Isles, took their agression on a worldwide mission brutally slaughtering and repressing peoples covering the entire globe (unless the french or spanish beat them too it, which was not often due to their laziness).
English people work longer hours than almost any other country in Europe (compensated for by alcoholism) and have a generally shitty quality of life, despite this they maintain an arrogant superiority which engenders hatred for them throughout the world (especially in Ireland, Scotland, & Wales). Although the British government is responsible for the island of Britain it is an essentially English government so any hatred towards the 'British' should be directed first and foremost at the English (rather than Welsh or Scottish).
3. Much the same as definition two, a cunning and deceitfull bastard that will smile at your face whilst planning to give you a right royal fucking (and not in a nice way). Also a nationalistic moron whose patron saint was a Roman Soldier from eatern Europe given to the English by their Norman masters, although the real patron saint of England (and stil of the royal Family) is Edward the Confessor - an Englishman!.
(To a Parisian waiter)
"When you've stopped sulking read the menu in English."
(To an gibbering Indian call centre employee)
"Pardon? Sorry? Could you repeat that please? I'm sorry but does anyone speak English there?"
(To an American)
"Cat is spelt C.A.T."
"We don't 'jerk off' here old chap, we wank!"
(To an Austrailian)
"I know English doesn't come naturally to you but may I have two pints of lager please."
(To George W. Bush)
"In English, nuclear is pronounced new-clear."
(To Scots, Welsh, Irishman)
"Do you like the the English?"
"No, they're a bunch of no good, blood sucking bastards."
a language that lurks in dark alleys, beats up other languages and rifles through their pockets for spare vocabulary
That word didn't used to be part of english.
The english language has been tied down gagged and gang raped by skater fags, gangsta's and wiggers who all like to shove slang in its ass.
Dude dat was teh sickest move eva.
Yo was happenin ova dere? Its a pimp stealin our hoes, lets pop a cap in his ass and den steal his bling. Fo Shizzle.
Hmm shizzle i dont think i see that word in an english dictionary, maybe ill check the how to talk like you've never gone to school manual....
A language that only really intelligent people know how to speak correctly.
That person speaks English correctly! Wow, how smart!
Either means the people of England or a sadly mangled language. Once belonging to the Germanic Anglo-Saxons, the language has since become influenced by scores of other languages, slowly destroying the English language and its structure and rules.
Shanty (From Gaelic "Sean taigh"("old house")), galore (from Gaelic "gu leòr" ("enough")), whiskey (from Gaelic "uisge" ("water")), hamburger (from "Hamburg steak"), flower (from French "fleur", itself from Latin "flor"), bloom (from German "blum" ("flower")) and countless other words from so many other languages have, for better or worse, steeped into English.
"Let’s face it: English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant or ham in hamburger, neither apple nor pine in pineapple.more...
English muffins were not invented in England or french fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies, while sweetbreads, which aren’t sweet, are meat.
We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square, and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. And why is it that writers write, but fingers don’t fing, grocers don’t groce, and hammers don’t ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn’t the plural of booth beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So, one moose, 2 meese? One index, two indices? Is cheese the plural of choose?
If teachers taught, why didn’t preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell? Park on driveways and drive on parkways?
How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? How can the weather be hot as hell one day an cold as hell another?
When a house burns up, it burns down. You fill in a form by filling it out and an a...
Incredibly powerful and brutal race of people. Renowned worldwide for the ability to fight, hence why they are assiciated with lions, dragons, bulldogs etc, while the rose represents beauty.
Oh my its the english soccer hooligans, run!
to paraphrase from Pulp Fiction:
Sammy L. Jackson: "Hey brad, where you from?"
SLJ: "What? hmm, do they speak english in what?"
SLJ:"english, muthafucka, do uoi speak it?"
SLJ: "Say 'what' again.." brandishes weapon
SLJ: shoots B in arm.
spin on a pool ball or billiards ball (they are very different games). Comes from the fact that this technique came here from English players when they brought the game and their skillz here
Damn dude, you see the curve on the ball? That shit had madd english on it.