- Make a MySpace page, don't put ANYTHING in the 'about me' section except depressed graphics you can find online, and make the background something like bloody roses or just all black. Add a whole bunch of Apps that look evil, even though you know you'll never use them. Don't take any pictures yet, we'll get to that. Put all the other emo kids in your top friends.
- Go to the book store and grab a couple of vampire books, since they're the only thing you'll be reading (that is, if you're FORCED to read).
- Go to the music store and buy a bunch of CDs from My Chemical Romance, The Used, and more. If you need some ideas, go look at the band shirts at Hot Topic (and pick up a couple of those while you're there).
- Now, not ALL 'emo' kids cut themselves, but the true ones do. Because they are emotional (emo) and that's where it comes from. But they are really depressed and messed up. Don't think that you have to cut yourself to be emo. Then again, if you're not depressed, maybe you should go for scene.
- The emo look is something pretty much easy and expensive to pull off. First, only buy your clothes from Hot Topic or any place that has clothes similar to that. Never step foot inside Abercrombie, Hollister, Aeropostale, etc. Buy the band shirts (as stated earlier), a bunch of checkered jackets, and other weird patterned clothes. Your shoes have to be Vans, Converse, or those skinny, checkerboard ones. Speaking of skinny, you have to have a bunch of skinny jeans if you really want to look emo. No boots unless they're spiked, same goes for belts. You have to die your hair at least two different colors, preferably hot pink and black (girls) or red and black (guys). Your hair has to be short and choppy, preferably cut by you. Wear tons of eyeliner, no matter what gender you are (lots of emo people are bisexual, anyways). Some girls like to put bows in their hair and have a bunch of Hello Kitty stuff, it makes you look even more emo, acutally.
- Make your screenname/MySpace display name something with at least four 'x'es in it. Make your statuses and away messages some depressing quote or song lyric.
- Date more than one person at once, preferably one guy and one girl. If they're emo too, they won't care if they're cheated on, because that's one of the reasons they're emo.
- Write sad poetry and songs and sing them to yourself at school and when you're home alone.
- Take a lot of MySpace pictures of you smiling and looking happy (some close-ups, some from weird angles, and don't take a bunch in the bathroom), and one or two of your 'real' face. Make sure the captions are depressing quotes! :)
- Hang out with people, but only in secret. Don't tell everyone what happens in your conversations, and NEVER SAY 'LIKE'. Act normal around your family.
- Make out with someone of the same sex.
- Look down on the populars as they look down on you, and never make eye contact with them.
- Frequently dissappear. Like don't show up at school, or make yourself practically invisible.
- Don't go to dances or parties.
- Make your room painted all black, with pictures of strange things on the wall and candles burning usually.
If you read this whole thing thinking it will help you be emo, then you're a stupid asshole. Emo people create themselves, they don't read GUIDES to be emo!
If you read this for fun, make another one just like it! :) It's fun, trust me.
1. Girls say they like "sensitive guys" (lie)
2. Guy finds out, so he listens to faggy emo music and dresses like a dork so chicks will see that he is sensitive and not afraid to express himself (lie). He dyes his hair black, wraps himself in a stupid looking scarf, develops an eating disorder, and rants about how "nobody understands".
3. Now an emo guy, he meets Emo chick and they start dating, talking about how their well-off suburban lifestyles are terrible and depressing (lie)
4. Emo guy is just too much of a pussy. His penis is too small, he's too depressed to bathe, and has more mood swings than emo chick, and he doesn't even have a menstrual cycle. Emo chick dumps him, saying "It's not you, it's me." (lie) as she drives off with Wayne, the school jock and captain of the football team.
5. Emo guy goes home and cries, proceeds to write a weak song and strum a single string on his acoustic guitar. Another emo chick sees how he is so in touch with his feelings, and the cycle continues.
This is the sad truth of the emo lifestyle/music, and now that I look at how pathetic it really is, maybe the emos DO have something to cry about!
boyfriend: I'm too sad to have sex.
girlfriend: I'm sad too; lets have sex and cry.
boyfriend: I'm already crying.
XxSlavetoAnguishxX: omg my gf just left me
acidburnedsoul: that sux man
XxSlavetoAnguishxX: i blame myself only i'm such an ass *cries*
acidburnedsoul: dude come over to my house and we can cut ourselves together
XxSlavetoAnguishxX: okay *cries*
acidburnedsoul: omg dashboard confessional has a new cd, i preordered it already
XxSlavetoAnguishxX: dude they're my favorite band to self-mutilate to
acidburnedsoul: i prefer to cut myself while watching Napoleon Dynamite on my bigscreen
XxSlavetoAnguishxX: dude that movie is so deep. i cry every time i see it
acidburnedsoul: me too. i hate myself
XxSlavetoAnguishxX: yeah we're such tortured souls, nobody understands how hard life is for us
acidburnedsoul: yeah we got it tough dude. pass the tissues
I just thought I'd clear that up after all of these "definitions" in which I have encountered an unbelievable amount of people who try to pass off their blatantly false pretenses as fact, and are slowly infecting others with their high-horse, holier-than-thou bullshit. Because honestly, with your ridiculous definitions, Beethoven, George Gershwin, and Britney Spears are/was "emo bands."
Now, onto the real definition.
In the early 90s there was a movement in the hardcore genre that came to be known as "Emotive Hardcore," spearheaded by Rites Of Spring. Harder-core-than-thou kids, who swore by Dischord Records a la Minor Threat, actually coined the term "Emo" as something of a put-down for the kids who really liked Rites Of Spring, Indian Summer and this new wave of "Emotive" Hardcore bands. That's right, "Emo" was once not something kids called themselves. The field exploded outwards from there - Level-Plane Records has always been the most famous Emo label. Acts like Yaphet Kotto, I Hate Myself, Saetia, Hot Cross, A Day In Black And White, Funeral Diner, I Would Set Myself On Fire For You, You And I, and hosts of others came in the next decade. Most emo bands have since broken up, but there's still the occasional hold-out (again, the majority of Level-Plane Records' roster has been a procession of emo acts). Like most DIY hardcore/punk of the time, a majority found its way onto vinyl and not much else. Some people consider bands like Fugazi, and later Sunny Day Real Estate, a progression of emo, but personally, I don't quite follow that philosophy.
Often, more recently, this gets intertwined with post-hardcore, and understandably so - that's nothing to make an issue of, since well shit, at least it's close.
Since the late 90s, though, bands have been emerging in the vein of Taking Back Sunday, Dashboard Confessional, and the thousands of their clones. As far as I can tell, some lazy journalist somewhere, writing an article about them, decided "Well, fuck, no one knows what emo is anyways, so I'll call these bands "emo" - sounds more appealing than bubblegum pop rock..." and the spiral continued downwards into the current amalgomation of bands MTV has told everyone is "emo."
Somehow, people decided that "emo" meant "emotional," which is obviously bullshit, as 99% of bands make music to illicit emotion, which would make "emotional" a completely all-encompassing genre from classical to opera to pop to rap.
Hope that helps.
Rites of Spring is emo.