| 1. | emergency max | ||
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this is the term given to a masturbation session that is needed during working hours and often takes part in the toilets of the premises that you work within.
where is Maxime?
oh, he popped into the toilets for an emergency max! |
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| 2. | emergency contraceptive | ||
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1.
Extra condoms (often kept in a backpack, briefcase, or vehicle trunk) 2. A Left Hand and truecrypt porn volume can quickly relieve blue balls with zero potential conception, but high potential for sexual escalation. 3. technology with the potential to PREVENT conception (sperm penetrating ovum, the engendering of pregnancy), includes: condoms, spermicide, careful anal sex, masturbation. Any technology willfully killing the zygote is infanticide and in no way whatsoever contraceptive. 4. One cannot un-ring the bell: don't tap the bell. Should Mike's flavor of the week be set to fornicate but have no condom between them he could grab his strip of emergency contraceptives from the dick vapor protected gym bag in his car before becoming a Violently Orgasming Obsessed Dick Once Hard animal mindlessly fucking through the strip in one afternoon. more...
Because all the high school freshman practiced at the same time, the girls on the court adjacent to the guys, the girls could see how well hung Shawn was his long thick dick flopping as he ran without compression shorts. With ample daily offers for good head and more after practice-, on study dates-, and amid the parties amplifying rife lust he used Masturbation As Contraception, the only 100% efficatious emergency contraceptive, lest girls hungering for big cock succeed tempting him to let them ride his cock. Though Dravin longed to Fuck to Balls Empty during awesomely stimulating Girlfriend Anal Sex (contraceptive ... |
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| 3. | Emergency Stain | ||
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The result of a man's Post-Masturbatory Reflection Period being cut brutally short (by the arrival of other people to the scene). Usually a parent returning home from work. With an extremely limited timeframe the male often has to forsake the ritual wipe up and throw his clothes back on, regardless of the huge blob of semen on his midsection - leaving a great big emergency stain on his clothes. Probably occurs in females too, I'd feel to weird to ask them. 1.
Guy ~ "Woah, mum's home. Sorry pants, but this calls for an emergency stain" Mum ~ "Why is there a naked lady on the computer?" 2. Me ~ "I genuinely assume this happens to everybody" |
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| 4. | Emergency Bat | ||
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When presented with a particularly stressful situation in life, a male may choose to partake in an emergency bat to relieve stress and help cope with the situation. For example, after several hours of attempting to pick up at Arcadia Hotel with no success, a male can head to the bathroom and have an emergency bat to relieve the stress induced by the inability to find a partner in which to fornicate with. If he so chooses, the batsmen can perform the emergency bat right there on the spot. (NB: This practice is generally frowned upon and may result in an earlier than anticipated eviction from the designated strike out venue) The emergency bat is not reserved only for occasions of strike out, it can be used in a multitude of situations. For example if an exam is more difficult than anticipated (perhaps a lack of study because of too much porn during swot vac), a male can head to the bathrooms and relieve some stress. Or if you are DJing at a venue and the crowd you are playing to is very indie and they do not take kindly to your Zoƫ Badwi remix that you spent hours preparing. A quick trip to the bathroom for an emergency bat mid set may sufficiently relieve the tension and give you the resolve to soldier on. Guy 1: Just got rejected for the third time tonight, cannot take a trick at the moment.
Darryl: Shit mate. Maybe have an emergency bat or something and try again later?? Or you could switch to guys and just give up all together. Guy 1: Fuck you darryl. But yes I will have an emergency bat. |
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| 5. | Planned Parenthood | ||
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An NGO that mostly gives educational information to people. They are a source for the pill, other contraceptives, Plan B aka emergency contraception, STI testing, HIV testing and counseling, pregnancy testing and counseling, abortion care. The organization's main principle is that every person has the right to decide when they are going to have children, how many they want them, and they believe that the best way to do accomplish this is age-appropriate, comprehensive sex ed including abstinence and information on protection should one choose to become sexually active. They are pro-choice and work through a large volunteer base to ensure that reproductive freedoms are not impinged on. Planned Parenthood speakers came to my school today and taught us that people can get STIs from oral sex.
The Planned Parenthood people gave us a talk about sexual responsibility. I went to Planned Parenthood to get tested. I was on the pill and I've only been sleeping with my boyfriend of 6 months. I didn't know that I should we both should have gotten tested before giving up condoms. They weren't judgmental and they treated me really well. I went to the ER after one of my classmates raped me. They didn't tell me about emergency contraception. I found out I was pregnant a month later and I got abortion care from Planned Parenthood. Planned Parenthood is trying to reduce the rates of teen pregnancy, STIs and abortions in the US. Currently, we have the HIGHEST rate of all three in comparison to any other other Western/developed country. I don't know why people aren't doing more to advocate responsible choices. |
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| 6. | bucklecock | ||
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A dire medical situation in which a male human has BROKEN his erect penis.
Although the penis is not really a bone - it only feels that way 90% of the time! - it can still be broken, if enough force is applied at the correct angle (e.g. falling on it, or slamming it in a door). Often, there is an audible "cracking" sound accompanying this tortuous, apocalyptic event. And, like a broken bone, the fractured penis needs to be "set" as soon as possible after breakage occurs, to ensure proper healing. A broken penis is a medical emergency, so if you are experiencing the symptoms of bucklecock (screaming in pain, penis misshapen and pointing off at a sickening angle, significant other has feinted from the sight of it, etc.) then I implore you to stop reading this and seek professional medical assistance immediately. I fell out of bed last night and got bucklecock! When I wouldn't quit screaming, my girlfriend taped a tennis ball in my mouth and drove me to the emergency room, where everyone laughed at me while I laid under a table, whimpering.
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| 7. | procrasturbation | ||
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(n) - a form of procrastination involving copious amounts or masturbation. I know I had a week to finish my essay, but I was so busy procrasturbating that I had to bs the entire thing.
I heard that Jim had to check into rehab for his procrasturbation problem. I also heard that Jim only agreed to go to rehab after his latest procrasturbation episode ended with him in the Emergency Room. |
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