A monkey who has ADHD, hyped up on a quart of Red Bull shots, and has a high powered fire hose. It is also inside of a Tesla cage, a metal cage charged with 20,000 volts of electricity that can only go outside of the cage, not in. This arrangement produces a highly random series of lightning bolts in all directions. The speed at which the monkey moves has been known to violate Einstein's theory of relativity by breaking the speed of light barrier. With the inclusion of a small black hole, the monkey then has infinite negative mass and infinite negative gravity, so nothing, not even light, can reach the monkey to destroy it. Electromonkeys are best suited for unleashing on internet trolls or perverts in chat rooms.
You: Why hello. How are you today?
You: UNLEASH THE ELECTROMONKEY!
Troll: lolwut? That's so stupi- AAAAAAAHHHHHHH THE PAIN AND AGONY!
January 07, 2011