If I were Bella,I'd kill myself being stuck with him. Edward is boring,too lovey-dovey for his own good and sucks up to Bella. He doesn't let her do anything,and his politeness makes me sick to my stomach. Sometimes I want to puke thinking of him. In Eclipse,Edward seduced Bella into having sex with him. Then Bella decided she wanted to screw him,and he rejected her.
Edward's main competition is only Jacob Black,the wild,witty,and hott werewolf who actually has a life and isn't dull unlike some vampires. Edward is a 107 year old virgin. Meaning,the one hundred and seven long years of his life he hasn't gotten laid. Unless he did,and he can't remember. Old man. He lost all human memories,so he's lying to Bella when he says " I've never felt the way I feel for you,for anyone else before". Bull shit. He can't remember. He probably screwed tons of girls and said the same shit to other hags.
Bella's neediness for him makes me sick. She has Jake,Mike Newton,Edward,Tyler,Eric and she isn't fucking satisfied. Does she want Edward or Jake? She keeps running back to the two of them. The stupid,corny clutz should choose someone. If she doesn't want Jake,I'll have him.
Normal person: Edward is loving and everything,but he's not sane! Gosh,how I hate these lovey dovey women authors writing romance novels with their heads in the clouds. They don't know what the hell a real MAN is! A real man would be trying to screw her,seducing her,and touching her as he sleeps in her bed with her every night!
" Your exactly my brand of heroin." - Edward Cullen.
" Your REALLY getting on my nerves." - Me
"'And so the lion fell in love with the lamb...,' he murmured. I looked away, hiding my eyes as I thrilled to the word.
'What a stupid lamb,' I sighed.
'What a sick, masochistic lion.'"
' What a stupid vampire,and a human girl who is WAY out of her league."
Often the focus of female teenage trend-follower's wet dreams. How can they not? I mean... he goes into the sun and... SPARKLES! "Yum?"
Overall, a "perfect guy" made by a female writer that appeals heavily to young women or teens. The only reason that he makes me happy, is because it sets each and every fan girl up for a large amount of disappointment when they meet a real man.
Enjoy, Twilight fan-girls. Please be sure to write juicy comments.
P.S.: Please do use proper spelling and grammar when responding. It isn't nice to give people headaches.
Ow! My Edward Colon!
2. Stephanie Meyer's dream man. She fucks him in her sleep because she doesn't get enough loving from her family.
3. Abusive vampire thing who is apparently made of stone or marble or some sort of beautiful white rock.
2. Stephanie Meyer: TAKE ME NOW, EDWARD CULLEN! MARRY ME!!!!
3. Guy: "How'd you get that bruise?"
Twitard: "I was reading Twilight and I was just so turned on by Edward Cullen that I just HAD to bruise myself too! He's cold like marble, you know."
Guy: ".....I'm not fucking you ever."
He lives in Forks, Washington.
He is a Meyerpire, a being that suffers from a psychosis leading him to believe he is a 'vampire'.
A one hundred and eight year old virgin (until the latest installment 'Breaking Dawn'), he is trapped in the body of a seventeen year old boy, sparkles in the sunlight, has the ability to move super fast (despite the fact that he is described as 'marble-like') and has a wide variety of 'speshul' powers.
He is adored by teenage girls and Catholic priests alike, and is so 'perfect' in every way that he actually shits flowers.
He later becomes the father of Renesmee (Affectionately referred to as 'Nessie' and 'Renestard'), a half-Meyerpire, half-human hybrid who is also 'perfect' and is imprinted on by the self-styled Pedo-Wolf Jacob Black.
He is often used as a reference for unimpressive or ‘pussy’ vampires, despite the fact that he is not in fact a vampire.
See also: Stalker.
"If you're Edward Cullen."
Guy: Um, yea, right.......