1. A male ginger, usually under age 18, who obsessively drinks milk and naps. As a result, the bones of a portley are almost pure calcium. The blood of a portley is 98.62% milk. In addition, portleys account for 82.7% of the world's milk consumption. They are often oafy and counter the effects of their milk drinking habits to an extent by drinking beer. This is called the "Portley Paradox". Their favorite song is always, without fail, Warm Leatherette by The Normal.

Fap-Attacking is when you furiously masturbate to any of the Attack Attack songs. Doing so can cause one or all of many reactions. If you listen to any fast paced songs, and if you jerk your wanker vigorously enough, you can obtain the ability to for a few seconds, become a Super Saiyan 17. The after effects may cause cancer of the everywhere, and bleeding from the ass and earlobes. If you fap to a slower paced song, there is a one in a 117.4563 chance that you will be teleported to an alternate dimension and meet a gay jesus. The only way to get back is to travel 5 miles to castle Brennenburg and beat the game Amnesia: The Dark Descent, without a lantern. After you, and if you survive, you will leave castle Brennenburg, and wander into a swap where there will be 2 mile tall jellyfish with thorny neck dicks, that can and will brutaly rape your anus until your teeth turn into glass shards of fork, that will jump down your throat and stab your colon until you cry. After the swap, you will come up to the portal. Unfortuantly, that portal is actually a trap that teleports you to the inside of a giants sweaty arm bracelets. Once you jump out of his crunchy grundle cage, you will need to parachute down to the ground ( WARNING, LANDING IN ANYWHERE BESIDES THE INVISIBLE SWITCH THAT BRINGS YOU BACK TO REALITY WILL CAUSE IMMEDIATE DEATH. )

A Jenifer is usually mistaken for an ostrich. When seen, the ostriches can get spooked, and loose control. Often times, their wings flap, teeth grin, snout scrunches, and eyes cross. The best thing to do is not to meet their eyes, but back away slowly. Jenifer's are in the most violent mood when they are hungry. One way, to calm an ostrich is to stroke their earlobes. Jenifers can be great pets, maids, and can prove great jokes. Ostriches and Jenifer's are amazing creatures.

When the size of ones earlobes can be camparable to a c or d-cup bra size.

A male coworker who constantly creeps out and sexually molests other male coworkers, both through his words and actions. This coworker has generally been a part of an organization for so long that normal workplace etiquette no longer applies to him. This is not to say, however, that every male office veteran can be a Ginguedusky. It takes an especially demented and sexually confused individual to become a Ginguedusky.

1. The science, practice and art of penis measuring.

2. The collection of measurements that can be used to measure the male sex organ, including flaccid length, flaccid girth, flaccid volume, erect length, erect length, erect volume, turgidity, angle of inclination, circumcision status, MTBO (mean time before orgasm) and vein quotient.