The language of online hobos and foreigners who don't really speak English at all, but are under the false impression that they speak perfectly, just because they stalk and harass a whole lot of innocent teenage girls over the internet in their spare time.
To form words, you merely omit MOST vowels, but leave just enough that the annoyed person on the receiving end of your message can barely make out what you mean. (see examples)
It is infuriating to decipher when you have somewhere to be and a whole page of offline messages in e-speak pops up on Yahoo Messenger from your foreign friend, who happens to be an ugly old fart from a country whose name you can't pronounce.
Tk cr n hv a lvly nit
e-speak for: Take care and have a lovely night
u knw wat swthrt, u hv drivn me crzy
e-speak for: You know what sweetheart, you have driven me crazy