The guy at a days inn running thru the hallway at 7 AM screaming, "THIS CARPET IS SO SOFT! ITS SO COMFY! YOU HAVE TO COME FEEL THIS!!!"
holy jeez. Trak is a complete e-tard right now. Can we just lock him out?
by Siggy April 25, 2005
An E tard is someone who frequently uses ecstasy and has become a retard because of it. They suffer from rapid weight loss, verbal diahhera, and depression.
"Dont take ecstasy frequently or youll become an e tard"
by kiwi82 April 27, 2008
Individual whos use of ecstasy has made them stupid
I didn't understand a damn word you just said, e-tard.
by francky March 21, 2007
Someone who enjoyed the amazing and incredibly lovely drug called Ecstasy also known as MDMA, a little too much. And now retarded from it.
Little Betty Jo completely e-tarded yet is on ecstasy says "iiii giots a dee ploos in ingalalish this semesterrrr"
Straight-Edge Bobby James says "You shouldve apprieciated the edge Betty Jo, you're an E-Tard"
Little Betty Jo completely e-tarded yet is on ecstasy says "but i lovvvvvvvvvve youuuu."

apprieciate your fellow e-tarded friends, :]
they are special and believe you are special to them too.
by fucksxepussies August 26, 2005
Somebody who has become mentally impared due to excessive use of the drug, ecstacy.
Usually they zone out and stare off in to the ditance or find lame things extraordinarily funny. They carry around the attention span of a two year old with a brain tumor.
"Wow, you've become such an e-tard."

"Don't do ecstacy so much! You'll become e-tard."

"Dude, I swear I'm an e-tard."
by OMFGIHARTU December 21, 2008
Someone's who's electronically challenged, and always relies on the local "computer expert" (you) to help them attach files to e-mails or download hentai. E-tards tend to be over 40 and have not once considered Googling their problem, due to the fact they might hurt themselves if they try.

They only understand your instructions after you simplify them at least three times, and never remember the names of anything related to computers. They only understand what the Start Menu is if you tell the it's "the little green button in the bottom-left corner that says Start". It is physically impossible for them to memorize and recall processes with more than three steps. Trying to help an e-tard do something more complicated than locate a file plays out like an Abbott and Costello routine from hell.

Over 95% of all e-tards use Windows (typically XP or Vista). This is due to the fact that when they bought their first computer, they didn't feel like overspending on something they wouldn't use. It's kind of ironic, since it'd probably easier for them to use a Mac (simpler design, sexy graphics everywhere).

However, the e-tard is not a creature to be hated for their ignorance, but pitied, and even sympathized with. Because, in about 30 years, when cyborgs take over the MindNet and you can't remember how to log off, you are going to be so fucked.
A typical exchange with the most common e-tard: your mother:

Your mom: Honey, how do I log out of your father's account?
You: Start Menu, click Log Off.
Your mom: Where's the Start Menu?
You: Click the Start Button.
Your mom: Where's that?
You: Bottom-left corner. It says start.
Your mom: Okay. Now what?
You: Click Log Off.
Your mom: Where's that?
You: *sigh* Lemme show you.

At this point, you walk over and log off for h-what the fuck? Did your dad really save goat porn to his desktop? Jesus Christ. How did he even find that without your help? And the filename is "goatporn_02". Subtle.
by srs109 April 17, 2011
London based football team who have unbelievable tekkers. A team comparable to E'tards will have a large squad and the manager will rotate the team around a core group of players. An E'tarded football team will also call upon reserve players more accustomed to other sports e.g. rugby. It has been reported that the current squad (2010/2011 season) have a combined value of approximately £100. Often play in a 4-4-2 diamond formation. The team have a large fan base who follow the team religiously whether at home or on the road and turnout to see derby games has often led to pitch invasions and fans even getting down onto the touch line to catch mere glimpses of the skill the players possess. Commonly known as the Tards.
Football player 1 "We are playing the E'tards this week."

Football player 2 "Well then, I'm not turning up, that game is as good as lost."

Football manager of a team that has E'tarded traits "Right we are missing some players this week, we'll have to draft in some player from the local rugby club"

Football supporter (While at an E'tard game) "Wow see those tekkers"
E'tard supporter "Yeh, they are quite good. They have scored with chips from the D, backheels and even from the halfway line. They even volleyed it into their own net once just for fun. Big up the Tards"
Football supporter "Wow, they sound good, wouldn't want to play the."
by Footy fan 5201184 March 06, 2011

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