| 1. | Patio scab | ||
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The white equivalent to a Porch Monkey. Also known as a Driveway Drinker. Commonly found in suburban neighborhoods watching children play but pounding beers. Hey patio scab, stop polishing your Harley and get me a beer
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| 2. | rebirth | ||
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An advanced stage of drunkenness in which the drinker has apparently become sober again without having ceased to drink. Usually occurs at the break of dawn. He's coherent and seemingly lucid now, but prior to rebirth, he was talking complete gibberish and doing faceplants in the driveway.
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| 3. | Smeaged | ||
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A state of drunkenness beyond all others. While your normal drinker passes out, one who is smeaged plays through to the A.M., continually drinking in excess, somehow, someway. Smeaging results in memory loss and good stories. AKA, Dallas Downs Syndrome. At Destin for the 4th, an all day drinking binge results in your friend, Dallas, who is smeaged, disappearing. At about 5am when most others are passed out for the night, your smeaged friend is still going strong, talking to random folks about Lynyrd Skynyrd and Auburn football. The smeaged friend then passes out on a beach float in someone's driveway.
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