John: No, I had fifteen Jager shots last night and now I'm suffering from a mild case of drinpression. I think I'll just waste the entire day watching porn and googling myself. I feel like such a twat after last night.
Jack: Why do you feel like an asshole? You didn't even cheat on your girlfriend last night! All's well that ends well, right?
John: Yeah, I guess. Whatever. But I'm still not leaving the house. There's no point in anything anyway. I'm too drinkpressed to even masturbate -- I'm such a waste of life. Fuck, I can't wait til this drinkpression goes away.