Martin: "Yeah that's drift wood trying to wash up on Amber's beach."
Friend: "Your girfriend saw your dick?"
You: "Naw dude...I had a bad case of drift wood and I forgot to tuck it when I went to work."
Friend: "I am SO...SORRY. Can I get you anything bro?"
You: "Only my self respect....."
"Oh dude, he totally has drift-wood and is shielding"
"RYAN HAS A BONER!" (Yell to everyone in the hall)